Explosions
by Sarfy
Summary: AU Taking place after season 4. Bo has been ignoring Lauren. Lauren has decided, that she's had enough and needs a change. Please see author's note at the beginning of ch1.
1. Letting go

New story. So, I just finished watching season 4.. Not my favorite season. AT ALL. Lauren getting shit and Bo being an asshole.. Well anyway, I'm pouring out my feels here. Not my usual fluffy feels! Sorry! This is basically me continuing from the end of the season. Might be differences to the back story, if I remember stuff wrong or not at all.. Creative license there. Note - Kenzi is back already. And AU from here on.

If I continue this, I probably won't update that regularly. At least not until I've finished one of my other stories. But this may turn out to be only a one or a two-shot. Don't know yet. Just had to get this started and out of my system so to speak, so I could continue to write my fluffier fics :P

And I don't own anything! DISCLAIMER!

FYI English is not my first language.

Oh and I was inspired by Ellie Gouldings 'Explosions'. Lyrics below.

Enough of my ramblings and on with the story..

xo

* * *

Explosions (Ellie Goulding)

You trembled like you'd seen a ghost  
And I gave in  
I lack the things you need the most, you said where have you been  
You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide  
I wonder why  
I remind you of the days you poured your heart into  
But you never tried  
I've fallen from grace  
Took a blow to my face  
I've loved and I've lost  
I've loved and I've lost

Explosions...on the day you wake up  
Needing somebody and you've learned  
It's okay to be afraid  
But it will never be the same  
It will never be the same

You left my soul bleeding in the dark  
So you could be king  
The rules you set are still untold to me and I lost my faith in everything  
The nights you could cope, your intentions were gold  
But the mountains will shake  
I need to know I can still make

Explosions...on the day you wake up  
Needing somebody and you've learned  
It's okay to be afraid  
But it will never be the same

And as the floods move in  
And your body starts to sink  
I was the last thing on your mind  
I know you better than you think  
Cause it's simple darling, I gave you a warning  
Now everything you own is falling from the sky in pieces  
So watch them fall with you, in slow motion  
I pray that you will find peace of mind  
And I'll find you another time  
I'll love you, another time

Explosions...on the day you wake up  
Needing somebody and you've learned  
It's okay to be afraid  
But it will never be the same.

.

* * *

"Hello Lauren. I'm surprised to see you here. Can I do something for you?" Evony asked curiosity lacing her tone. Lauren and Evony had re-established their professional relationship and even formed a friendship of sorts after everything. It had been weeks and things had calmed down since then.

Lauren had taken care of The Morrigan, when she had been hurt. Lauren's voodoo magic as she had called it wore off soon and Evony was once again a fae with all her full powers. And she had controlled her revengeful, murderous impulses and hadn't killed either Lauren or Bo. Evony knew even though she was cruel and ruthless, she could never actually kill the blond doctor. Not anymore. She didn't want to dwell on the reasons behind her reluctance to even think about such an act. She was fond of the geeky doctor. Let's just leave it at that, Evony ended her musings and gave the doctor hovering at the door a small smile.

"Please. Come sit." The Morrigan motioned to the chair in front of her mahogany desk in her office.

"Hey.. Evony. I came to ask.. a favor." Lauren began carefully.

"Yes?" The Morrigan prodded and eyed the doctor, who was looking totally uncomfortable.

"I'd like you to transfer me to some other city, if possible?" Lauren blurted and met Evony's eyes, before lowering her gaze.

"Has something happened? Has Bo done something to make you ask such a thing?" Evony asked softly, making Lauren look up surprised.

"Well, no and yes. I have barely seen Bo after she, Dyson and Tamsin started planning to bring Kenzi back. Kenzi's been back for weeks now and I've seen Bo once! Once and by total accident.." Lauren sighed. "I think I just need to get away. Get some space, you know?"

"Get away from all this?" Evony said with a flourish of her hand. "Your life here?"

"Yeah, something like that. I have no life. Not really. And I just can't stay here anymore. Pining after her. I refuse to be a doormat any longer. I'm not happy. I need to.. try to find happiness somewhere else." Lauren rambled, but then stopped herself. "I'm sorry.. This is a lot to ask."

"No. Don't be sorry. I understand." Evony nodded. "I can most likely arrange you a job in.. Montreal for instance? I have connections there. Would that be okay?"

"That would be great." Lauren's eyes lit up. "You would really do this for.. me?"

"Only for you Lauren." Evony said seriously. She really did have a soft spot for this human, Evony rolled her eyes at herself. Am I going all soft, she fretted inwardly.

"Do you want me to tell Bo about this after you're gone?" Evony continued after a moment.

"No." Lauren shook her head. "No. I want.. I need to tell her myself, that I'm leaving, but I won't tell her where I'm going. And I wish you won't tell her either? I really need a clean break."

"Okay. I will set this up. When would you like to go?" Evony asked while scribbling on her pad.

"As soon as possible." Lauren shrugged. "I have nothing to hold me here."

"I'll make a few calls and let you know." Evony nodded.

"Thanks Evony. I really appreciate it. I was hesitant to come ask for your help, because.."

"We have history, Lauren. But it's old news." Evony cut in. "We both made mistakes and we're fine now. I care for you as a person and as an asset. It's my pleasure to help you." She finished.

"Really?" Lauren's voice broke.

"Really."

"Glad I didn't make a run for it after all.." The blond whispered mainly to herself, but Evony heard it also.

"You were going to run?" The Morrigan asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I thought about it. Yes." Lauren admitted quietly. "But being on the run.. It's not a life, is it?"

"It is not." Evony said almost sadly. "It's good you didn't take off.. I'll take care of you Lauren. You don't have to run anymore." Evony took a hold of Lauren's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Oh gods, I am really going soft, she realized in shock.

.

* * *

Two days later Lauren headed to meet Bo in the crack shack. Evony had been able to arrange everything at lightning speed, which didn't really surprise Lauren. The Morrigan got things done. And Lauren was eternally grateful for that. She was free from the light and dark, but not really and staying with Evony gave her protection. And now Evony was giving her a chance at a new life. Lauren felt a pleasant flutter in her chest at the thought of starting over.

I need to meet Bo and get this over with, Lauren mused as she lifted her hand to knock on the door. Actually she was ambushing Bo. She hadn't been able to reach the woman by phone and really wanted to talk to her face to face. If she couldn't, she would follow plan B and write a letter. But however this played out, Lauren was resolute she was leaving the day after tomorrow. She would leave for a new life, a new beginning. Nothing could stop her from doing that.

"Hi, Kenzi. Is Bo here?" Lauren asked as the door to the crack shack opened and revealed the wide eyed goth.

"Oh hey. Hey Lauren.. Bo is.. You really should have called first." Kenzi said seriously.

"I did. I have. Multiply times actually. She hasn't answered and I really need to talk to her." Lauren said steeling herself.

"Bo's in her room.. healing with Dyson." Kenzi said with an sympathetic face. "I'm sorry."

"Oh? It's okay. I should've known." Lauren sighed. "I won't stay and wait. Maybe you could tell her to meet me tomorrow at my office? Before 8pm?" She suggested.

"Sure. Do you want me to say something to her from you?"

"Lots of things." Lauren scoffed sounding angry, but then composed herself. Keep your eye on the price, she reminded herself. You're leaving all this drama behind. Finally. "Just tell her I'm leaving and I'd like to say goodbye." She told Kenzi.

"Leaving? Where are you going? When?" Kenzi rambled a little freaked out that the only other human she knew among the fae was going away. She didn't quite understand why that bothered her. Lauren wasn't really a close friend, but the doctor had grown on her. They were kind of friends, the goth realized and she was sad to see the doctor go.

"I have a new job, in a new city." Lauren said evasively. "I'm starting in a few days."

"Oh? A temporary job or.."

"I'm gone for good, Kenzi." Lauren gave a small sad smile. "It was nice to know you Kenzi. I wish you all the best.." She nodded slightly.

"Oh. You too." Kenzi said quietly. "So, I won't see you again?"

"Probably not. At least not soon. I need to get myself together, you know." Lauren said meeting Kenzi's eyes. "I have had enough of.. this."

"I get it. I really do. I hope you'll be happy." Kenzi nodded a little. She knew Lauren had been clinging onto Bo's roller coaster ride a little too long. Kenzi understood, if the woman wanted finally to step off the ride. "I'll tell Bo you want to talk to her."

"Thanks. I better be going now. Goodbye."

"Bye." Kenzi breathed as she shut the door. "Gone for good? That sounds so permanent.. Shit."

.

* * *

"Good morning Bo." Kenzi greeted, when Bo came to the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Morning Kenz. Yes please." Bo eagerly snatched the mug from Kenzi's outstretched hand.

"Is Dyson still up there?"

"What? Of course not! He served his purpose. I'm healed. See?" Bo spat and gestured to her face, which had healed from the bruises Kenzi saw the night before. "He doesn't have to stay the night!"

"Okay.. Okay." Kenzi lifted her hands in surrender. "When have you last talked to Lauren?"

"A few weeks ago? Why?"

"Why haven't you talked with her or answered her calls?" Kenzi pressed on.

"What's this about?" Bo asked seriously.

"Just answer me."

"I've tried to keep my distance. She's a human Kenzi. I just keep hurting her. I can't be with her. She's not enough for me." Bo sighed, not really wanting to talk about Lauren. She was trying to forget the blond. She needed to forget her. Or at least take the edge off her feelings, so they could be friends.

"I'm human." Kenzi snapped.

"You're different Kenzi.. You know that. You're my friend, not my lover."

"I get it. So you don't love Lauren? You don't need Lauren and you don't want her? Anymore. Remember that." Kenzi sighed aggravated, but held Bo's gaze.

"What are you getting at? Why should I remember that?" Bo huffed impatiently.

"Bo, Lauren is moving away. She came to talk to you last night, while you were healing with Dyson."

"No." Bo gasped shocked.

"She's at the hospital today. Go and talk to her." The goth said in a demanding tone.

"She's leaving?" Bo asked and her voice broke a little. "You're sure?"

"Yes." Kenzi nodded. "And Bo, you will let her go."

"But I can't.. I love.. her." Bo stammered, tears stinging her eyes. "I know I've been an asshat, but I can't let her.."

"Bo! You will let her go. You can't keep stringing her along! She doesn't deserve that. You've been stringing her along long enough." Kenzi barked angrily.

"Kenzi?"

"I'm sorry, but sometimes you just piss me off! You're selfish and inconsiderate! This is not about you Bo. It's not about Dyson, or Tamsin or Rainer or any other fae you fu.."

"I'm.." Bo tried to cut in.

"It's about Lauren. She deserves better. You know it. I know it. And you will give her a chance to be happy. You will let her go." Kenzi snarled. "Quit being an asshole!"

"I'm sorry." Bo apologized sincerely.

"I'm not the one you should be asking for forgiveness.." Kenzi whispered and went to her room, leaving Bo lost in her morose thoughts leaning against the kitchen island.

.

* * *

"Hey, Lauren. I'm sorry I'm late. I was on a case and.." Bo breathed as she caught up with Lauren on the dark parking lot. It was already after 9pm.

"Bo. I was just going home. I thought you weren't coming." Lauren said in an irritated tone. "I know, I'm the last on your list, but you could have called."

"I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry. I was on a case." Bo repeated lamely. "Um, Kenzi said you wanted to talk to me? She said you were leaving?"

"Yes. I just wanted to tell you in person, that I'm moving away." Lauren said in an even tone. All her reservations about leaving were gone. She was sure this was the right thing to do. For both of them. She was going to stay strong. She had to.

"Where are you going?" Bo asked with a small smile.

"Bo you don't need to know that. I don't want you to know that.. I'm sorry and I don't want to be cruel, but.. I don't want to hear from you. And I don't want to see you anymore."

"Lauren, you don't mean that!" Bo gasped looking devastated. Was Lauren really breaking all ties with her, she thought anxiously.

"I do. I need to get on with my life. A new start." Lauren said almost coldly. She wasn't going to be swayed by the beautiful watery brown eyes looking at her pleadingly. She wouldn't fall for it. Not this time. Be strong, she told herself.

"I need you in my life Lauren. I need you." Bo begged. "Please."

"You don't need me Bo. I don't think you ever did.. You'll be happy juggling Dyson and Tamsin. They'll be able to provide for you like no mere human can." Lauren scoffed steeling her heart more and more.

"Is there somebody else?" Bo breathed.

"You did not just ask me that." Lauren hissed angrily. Bo was such an ass sometimes! "It's none of your business!"

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry, but I.." Bo tried to cut in.

"No. No! You have no right to ask me that. You have no right to be jealous or whatever. We're not together. I haven't heard from you in weeks. We're not even friends! We don't see each other. You don't answer my calls! You've chosen Dyson and that's okay." Lauren ranted scowling.

"I haven't chosen Dyson. Or Tamsin!" Bo snarled wanting Lauren to know she hadn't chosen anyone. "And I've kept my distance to you becau.."

"I don't want to hear it! You didn't choose me either." Lauren cut in. "But if you someday decide to choose someone to spend your life with, I'm making it a bit easier for you." She added in a gentler tone.

"How?" Bo whispered sounding oddly hopeful meeting Lauren's eyes. She has such beautiful eyes, Bo thought. I love her. I can't let her go, Bo understood.

"I'm out Bo. Choose someone else. I won't be part of this anymore. I'm letting you go." Lauren said softly, all the anger gone from her voice.

"But Lauren I.."

"No Bo. It's too late. I'm choosing me. I loved you, but now I'm letting you go. It's better this way." Lauren whispered with tears in her eyes and leaned in placing a gentle kiss on Bo's lips.

"Goodbye." Lauren said quietly. She let out a shuddering breath and got into her rental car.

"Goodbye." Bo murmured tears falling on her cheeks as she watched the car speed off. "I still love you. I love you Lauren!" She shouted standing alone in the deserted parking lot.

.

* * *

Thanks for reading :)

A/N So there. I feel a bit better now ;) I'd love to hear your thoughts? If I continue, there will be more angst to come, before it gets better. Maybe.

A/N 2 Those following my other stories: I'll update Bet on That later today and The Art of Betting tomorrow or Tuesday.

A/N 3 (23rd May) Fixed the lyrics. I originally quickly copied them from my cd leaflet and they were obviously totally messed up.. Sorry. Thanks for guest reviewer to pointing this out :) I got my inspiration from listening to the song, not reading the lyrics.. My bad for not checking even though I thought something was amiss after I wrote them down!


	2. Getting away

Wow! What a response to this story – Thank you! I'm blown away :)

Most of you reviewing were hoping me to continue this. And I shall, but you might regret it, 'cause I was feeling angsty when writing the following chapter.. Yeah so, I've outlined something for this story. It might get a little.. soap opera-ish later? But if that doesn't deter you, please read on ;)

BEWARE some serious angst ahead! Serious. And I think you all are gonna hate me by the end of this chapter.. Just saying.

.

* * *

"Just be strong. Don't turn back.. You can't go back. This is for the best.. Fuck, I'm never getting over her, am I?" Lauren sobbed by herself in the car. "How can this hurt so bad?"

"Glad I told Evony, that no matter what - I don't want to stay here. She'll get me out. I have to get away.." Lauren sighed haphazardly wiping her teary eyes.

It was starting to rain heavily, forcing Lauren to try and compose herself and concentrate on driving. She just wanted to get home and resume packing her stuff. Lauren was now more sure than ever that she needed to get away. If she'd stay, she would sooner or later fall back fawning and doting on Bo. Being at her beg and call. It wasn't healthy. She'll destroy me, if I don't leave now. I love her, but she's not good for me. She's just not good for me, Lauren exhaled shivering a little, while keeping her white knuckled hands clutched around the steering wheel.

Lauren was approaching an intersection. Through the pouring rain she noted the green light indicating, she was free to pass. The light red rental car was just in the middle of the intersection, when Lauren saw a set of blinding bright lights barreling towards her from the right. She gasped in horror, realizing there was nothing she could do. That truck was gonna ram into her.

Was the light green? Was it red? The errand musings popped into her head, before all thoughts fled from her as her car released a loud metallic scream. Lauren watched with trepidation etched to her face, the metal give in, glass shattering with force. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Lauren could feel the little pieces of glass rain on her. She felt the air escape from her lungs with a whoosh as her body slammed against the driver side door.

And then.. Suddenly it was silent. The world was eerily void of any sound. Lauren couldn't even hear her own breathing. Or her heart beating. Maybe I'm dead? All she heard was a weird static sound ringing in her ears. Her wide eyes tracked the rain droplets gliding down on the surface of the windshield. When she felt cool droplets landing on her bare hand, she realized the glass was broken. The truck hit me, she remembered.

Lauren understood hazily, that her body had taken a sever blow as she tossed around in the car. I don't feel anything, Lauren thought with dread and a bit of wonder. I don't feel anything.. That's bad right? She slowly let her gaze fall down and saw there was blood pooling on her lap and dripping onto the damaged seat under her.

I'm bleeding.. a lot. I need to stop it. I need to.. What do need to do? I need to get home. Am I home? Lauren thought drowsily, her eyes fluttering shut. Why can't I move? That's bad. Like really bad.. isn't it, she pondered before darkness fell upon her.

.

* * *

"Tamsin. Did you find her?" Evony croaked, when she heard Tamsin answering her phone.

"Yes. We are bringing her in now." Tamsin said quietly. Evony noted some frantic sounds in the background as the valkyrie spoke. "She was in Toronto General. We got her out. We're five minutes away from the fae medical center now."

"How is she? How is Lauren?" Evony asked, but dreaded what the answer would be. The first officer on the accident scene had been a dark fae. He had called the Morrigan, once he had recognized Dr. Lewis. Evony remembered his strained tone, when he had said it 'looked bad'.

"She's.. not good." Tamsin sighed at the other end of the line.

"Has she said anything?" Evony sounded hopeful. Her favorite human was hurt and the Morrigan was having all these unsettling feelings. Helplessness, guilt, hope and desperation all mixed together.

"Boss.. Evony.. The Doc's a mess." Tamsin said her voice slightly uneven. "You know, I'm no medical expert, but it's really bad. I.. I'm sorry."

"Oh.." Evony breathed sadly. "Okay.. I've made some calls. Called in some favors owed to me. I have a healer and.. another fae coming in at any second. Hopefully there's still time to.." She faded out.

"Evony?"

"Hmm?"

"Should we tell Bo?" The valkyrie sighed. She had heard rumors, that Lauren was leaving. Having finally gathered determination, ripping herself away from Bo. But Tamsin knew for a fact that the succubus loved the human. Probably loved her more than she could ever love anyone.. But it was obviously.. complicated.

"No. Not yet." Evony told the valkyrie. "I'll be waiting at the hospital."

.

* * *

"Oh my god! Lauren.." Evony exclaimed once she laid eyes on the battered, pale, unconscious woman on the gurney. "I was supposed to take care of you.."

The Morrigan was looking uncharastically anxious, Tamsin noted. That hard-ass is usually cool as a cucumber in any situation, she knew. But she also knew that the Doc and the Morrigan had forged a friendship of sorts, so this must be a rattling experience for the woman. For a woman, who had a few, if any friends.

"This way please." A petite red headed woman standing next to the Morrigan said with urgency in her voice. "Right here." She motioned for the EMTs to an available room.

"I need privacy." The woman ordered in an even, commanding tone. "Rigory can stay. No one else." She nodded to the man standing next to Evony.

"Out." The Morrigan glared at everyone making them flee quickly. "You too Tamsin."

"But I.."

"Out!" The Morrigan roared impatiently. Tamsin nodded and left the room. After the valkyrie's exit, Evony deflated. Her eyes were scanning the lifeless looking blond lying still and motionless on the bloodstained gurney. There were machines hooked up to her, blood-soaked bandages scattering her body. Evony swallowed thickly, feeling unpleasantly emotional.

"Is there still.. I promised her a new life. She's not too far gone is she? Freya.. Can you help her?" Evony whispered to the woman hovering over an unconscious Lauren.

"I will try." Freya locked eyes with distraught Evony. "I'll do my best. I promise. She has extensive injuries, but.. I'll try my best. This may take a while." She warned.

Evony nodded distractedly, before exiting to the hallway and plopping her body on the uncomfortable chair next to Tamsin's. They both sat there quietly lost in their thoughts.

.

* * *

Tamsin woke up to hushed voices. She had fallen asleep on the torture device of a chair, she grumbled unhappily. She straightened her body with a groan and cracked open her eyes and saw the Morrigan get up, meeting Freya in the doorway. The healing fairy looked utterly tired and Tamsin couldn't tell from her face, if she'd been able to heal the doctor yet. The valkyrie glanced at her phone noting it was already morning. It had been hours since they'd brought the injured doctor to the hospital.

"Evony. Come in please. I think you want to talk to Rigory next. If you're.. Are you still going through with what we talked about earlier?" Freya said in a hoarse voice and Evony nodded.

"I am. It's for the best. It's what Lauren wanted."

The door closed and prevented Tamsin from eavesdropping more. What the hell was that about, the valkyrie mused.

.

* * *

"Tamsin.. Please call Bo or her little goth friend." The Morrigan ordered, but her tone was tired and lacked it usual spunk, when she appeared back to hallway half hour later. Tamsin had barely had time to score herself a cup of coffee.

"What room will they put the doctor in?" Tamsin asked craning her neck trying to see Lauren through the slightly ajar door.

"I'm escorting Lauren to.. the morgue." Evony put her head down shaking it a little. "Please call the succubus."

"Lauren.. She's dead?" Tamsin gasped in shock. She knew the woman had been in a bad shape, but Freya had the reputation healing even the most gravely hurt people.

"Tamsin. Call her." Evony commanded with some more force. "Rigory, please let's go." She said opening the door fully to the room where Lauren was.

"Of course." The tall man answered and a moment later pushed out the gurney with a sheet covered body resting on top of it and past silent Tamsin.

Tamsin stood up and watched them go. She wandered to the trashcan and chucked her unfinished coffee in it, feeling unable to stomach the beverage anymore.

"This is all wrong." She sighed.

.

* * *

"Hey Bo." Tamsin swallowed difficultly, when she heard Bo answer her phone.

The valkyrie had been pacing around the hospital corridor for over an hour with her phone clutched in her hand. But still she didn't know how to.. tell about Lauren dying. Tamsin and Bo didn't spend time together anymore. Or even talk much. Bo had been furious, when she'd learned that Tamsin told Lauren about them kissing, back when Bo should have been escorting Lauren to the awards ceremony. Even if that was ages ago and they had done more than kissing since. Bo had basically told Tamsin to take a hike and then the succubus had fallen for Rainer. Or whatever. But all that was in the past. Just tell her and get it over with, Tamsin waited how Bo would react to her calling.

"Tamsin? What the hell do you want?" Bo spat. "I thought I made it clear, I wanted nothing to do with you?"

"I.. I'm sorry. Uh. Is Kenzi there?" Tamsin asked taking a deep shuddering breath.

"Yeah." Bo grouched.

"Could I talk to her?" Tamsin asked and heard a rustle over the phone, before she heard Kenzi's voice.

"Tamsin?" The goth sounded surprised. "Why did you call Bo, if you needed to talk to me?"

"Kenzi.." Tamsin croaked desperately, not used to delivering this kind of news to anyone.

"What's wrong?" Kenzi whispered. "Tamsin what's wrong?"

"Lauren's dead, Kenzi." Tamsin rushed her words out quickly.

"What?" The petite brunette gasped, flicking her eyes at Bo, who was now watching her intently.

"Lauren's dead." The valkyrie repeated sighing heavily. "Her car got T-boned by a drunk driver last night. That asshole ran a red light. He was drunk.. He hit.." She trailed off.

"Oh?" Kenzi breathed shocked.

"The doctors, the healers.. They couldn't save her. She died here at the hospital.. I couldn't tell Bo. She.. dislikes me." Tamsin said softly. "And it's probably best anyway, that you.. tell Bo."

"Yeah.. " Kenzi choked out. This couldn't be real. She felt tears stinging in her eyes. Lauren was suppose start over. Be happy. Not dead! "Lauren's really gone?"

"She is. I'm sorry."

"Me too.." Kenzi uttered, feeling tears escaping from her eyes.

"She's at the morgue.. Bo can come see her, if.. If she wishes." Tamsin said quietly.

"How am I gonna tell this to Bo?" Kenzi let out a sob and saw Bo coming towards her concern evident in her eyes.

"I don't know." Tamsin said.

"Kenzi? What is it? What's wrong?" Bo asked gently and tugged the smaller woman in a hug.

"Everything is.. wrong." Kenzi murmured against her friend's chest, willing herself not to breakdown. Bo would need her to be strong.

.

* * *

Thanks for reading :)

A/N Don't drink and drive!

A/N What a difficult chapter to write with all the feels :( And I know you hate me a little now. Or perhaps a lot? BUT please remember the story's not over yet. Not a two-shot, I promise. I am going somewhere with this. Hold the flames, if anyway possible! I'll try to post the next chapter at the end of next week at the latest.

A/N I might have taken a few liberties with Tamsin/Bo backstory. I just couldn't remember, if Bo knew that Tamsin ratted her out to Lauren (about the kiss.)


	3. Say Goodbye

Thank you for your follows, favs and comments :)

This chapter is... ANGSTY!

xoxo

* * *

"Everything is wrong Bo.." Kenzi murmured, lifting her watery eyes to Bo's confused and worried ones.

"Kenzi?" Bo prompted with icy dread filling her gut.

"I.. Um, I need a moment.." Kenzi croaked trying keep from breaking down. She knew Bo would be in pieces soon. Or in denial. Or both. She'd been there herself not so long ago. "Just a.. little moment."

"Okay." Bo whispered as Kenzi laced their fingers together.

"Come sit with me Bobo." Kenzi tugged the succubus with her towards the couch.

They sat there silently holding hands. Bo kept her eyes on Kenzi, who was looking down unseeing it seemed. Her friend was rarely this distraught. Images of Hale flashed through Bo's mind at the thought. Bo knew Kenzi was still dealing with the loss of Hale.

She idly pondered, if one could ever get over the loss of a loved one. Loss of a lover. At the word lover, her mind went to Lauren and she felt a painful tug in her chest. She had treated the blond so badly. She had treated everyone badly. Now Lauren was moving away and made it very clear to Bo to not come looking for her. She would miss the blond terribly, but she had decided to respect Lauren's wishes and leave her alone. At least the succubus would try. Bo was brought out of her reverie, when she heard Kenzi clear her throat.

Kenzi slowly turned to face Bo, meeting the troubled brown eyes staring at her. She let her eyes drop briefly to their joined hands before lifting her gaze back up.

"Kenzi, you're freaking me out.." Bo said softly. "Has something happened?"

"There was an accident.." Kenzi started, keeping her eyes connected with Bo's. Just tell her, she sighed inwardly. Say it straight. "Lauren is dead." She got out with a strained whisper.

"What?" Bo breathed with an unreadable expression, until a scowl appeared on her face. "Why are you saying that?"

"Bo, Lauren is dead.. She's gone." Kenzi said softly still clutching Bo's hand.

"She's not! Stop it! Stop saying that!" Bo snapped angrily. "Lauren's not dead. Who told you Lauren died? Who?!" Bo roared getting up off the couch.

"Tamsin. She called to tell.."

"Tamsin?" Bo snarled. "She's lying! She's lying Kenzi!" Bo ranted with tears falling on her cheeks.

"Bo.. Listen to me.." Kenzi sighed sadly. She knew the Valkyrie wouldn't lie about something like this. Not to her. Not to anyone. "She's not lying."

"She is!" The succubus screeched sounding desperate.

"Lauren is.. at the morgue in the hospital.. Do you want to go see her?" Kenzi asked softly. "Bo?"

"I.." Bo sobbed. "I need to see her. This is not.. She's okay. I know she is." She said quietly.

"I'm so sorry Bo.." Kenzi murmured and got up and pulled Bo into a tight hug. "Lauren.. She is not okay Bo. She was in a car accident last night. She died Bo. Lauren died." She said as calmly as she could.

Bo fell quiet, letting her head fall down and sobbed against Kenzi's shoulder. They stayed like that, clinging to each other, for a long time.

"She's not dead." Bo suddenly muttered resolutely, startling Kenzi. "It's a mistake, you'll see." She said untangling herself from Kenzi's embrace.

"Bo.."

"Lauren is not dead. She can't be.." Bo whimpered, before storming out with Kenzi running after her.

"Wait! I'll drive." Kenzi yelled after her. She couldn't let Bo go without her. Once the succubus would see Lauren and realize she's.. gone, Bo was sure to be in pieces. Kenzi had no doubts about that.

.

* * *

Bo had fallen quiet during the ride to the hospital. She had only asked, if Kenzi really thought Lauren was dead. Lauren is dead, Kenzi had repeated softly. Now the two of them were standing in the hospital lobby holding hands.

"Here's Tamsin. Are you ready Bo?" Kenzi squeezed her friend's hand gently.

"No.." Bo breathed desperately. All the fight and anger had left her, leaving only anguish and fear. Maybe this was all real and Lauren was really.. gone. Gone forever, Bo thought heartbroken.

"I.. I'm sorry for your loss." The valkyrie said to Bo, who just nodded automatically. "This way." Tamsin gestured solemnly.

.

* * *

Evony was waiting for them in front of the morgue. She motioned for Tamsin to wait further in the dreary hallway.

"I'm sorry Bo. I know you cared for her." Evony said softly as she opened the thick steel door behind her. She acknowledged Kenzi with a little nod.

"I love her." Bo corrected, her haunted eyes latching on the slowly opening door.

"Yes." Evony agreed. "The human body is so very frail. She didn't suffer. She didn't feel any pain Bo." Evony tried to.. What - console the succubus? She shook her head slightly.

"She's.. in here." Evony went in, but Bo stood frozen just outside the room.

"Bo come.. say goodbye." Kenzi murmured and tugged Bo a little to get her moving.

Bo trailed after Kenzi in a haze. Once in the chilly room, she breathed out feeling unreal. Her eyes were glued to the steel gurney in the middle of the room. The white sheet was covering the body, but the head was left visible. Bo could see blond hair falling on the gurney. Bo released Kenzi's hand and slowly went closer.

"It's really her.." A heart wrenching wail escaped her lips as her gaze fell upon the familiar features of the woman she loved desperately. "No. Lauren... No." She croaked, carefully placing her palm on Lauren's cheek.

"I'll save you." Bo sobbed and latched her lips on Lauren's, prying her mouth open and pushing chi into the blond. "I can't live in a world without you.. I'll save you!" She promised, her tears falling on Lauren's face.

Evony glanced at Rigory, who was standing quietly in the far corner. Evony gave him a questioning look and he shook his head slightly. The Morrigan nodded and turned her eyes back on the shattered succubus. She wondered, if she was doing the right thing or not. Bu there was no going back now. So no regrets. It is for the best, she concluded.

"Babe.. Please! Please wake up!" Bo begged raggedly.

Kenzi was standing further away silently crying for Lauren. Crying for Bo. She knew Bo's world had just come grumbling down. Kenzi vowed to be there for her friend.

"Babe, please.. Please don't leave me." The succubus cried and climbed next to Lauren on the gurney. She buried her face in the blonds neck, ghosting her lips on the cool skin.

"She looks like she's sleeping.. But she's so cold." Bo whispered against Lauren's skin between sobs, before lifting her head and glancing at Kenzi. "Kenz, why is she so cold?" The succubus asked sounding like a frightened child.

"Bo, I.."

"Why can't I bring her back?" Bo croaked in anguish and buried her face back in the crook of Lauren's neck without waiting for an answer from Kenzi.

"Do you want to be alone with her for a moment?" Evony asked sincerely. "I.. I must insist that Rigory stays, but I can leave." She added and interpreted Bo's quiet sniffles to mean she agreed.

"I'll be right outside Bo." Kenzi sniffled as she and the Morrigan exited the room. "Okay?"

Bo stayed curled up tightly against Lauren. Whispering her apologies, her regrets, her love and devotion to her lost love. Once in while begging Lauren to come back. To stay. To come back and stay.

.

* * *

"I should have stopped her from driving away last night." Bo uttered hoarsely as soon as Kenzi came back into the room. Bo's fingers were trailing on Lauren's face reverently. Like she was trying to memorize her. And she was. She was trying to memorize everything.

"Bo, this wasn't your fault." Kenzi said in a gentle tone.

"But in a way it was. She died, because she needed to get away from me.."

"That's not true Bo. It was an accident." Kenzi sighed sadly. "We should go Bo. I'm sorry."

"I can't leave her here.." Bo whispered, more tears spilling from her weary eyes.

"Bo. Come now." Kenzi ushered her softly.

"No." Bo sobbed and clung onto Lauren's frame, refusing to budge. "I can't."

"Bo.. Please." Kenzi pleaded gently, glancing at the Morrigan.

"Kenzi.. Please don't make me go."

.

* * *

Kenzi was just coming back to the kitchen after placing a tray of food behind Bo's door, when she heard a knock on the front door. It had been a week since she practically had had to drag the destroyed succubus from Hotpa.. Lauren's side. Kenzi sighed heavily and headed to the front door.

"Dyson. You really shouldn't have come."

"I'm here as a friend Kenzi. How is she?" Dyson asked sounding concerned.

"She's hurting. And she's blaming herself for what happened.."

"Maybe, if I.."

"No. No Dyson. I know you mean well, but you have to leave her be." Kenzi shook her head. "She's grieving for her lost love. She's been holed up in her room for a week now. Barely talks. Even to me."

"We should get her out and.."

"Bo needs time. She'll come out, when she's ready." Kenzi stated firmly, before changing the subject. "You and Tamsin still trying to.. connect? Have you seen her? Because I've tried to get a hold of.."

"I wanted to get to know her better, but she's disappeared. Maybe she's mad at me for going back to Bo.. I have no idea where she is." Dyson rubbed his face absentmindedly.

"That's strange. Where could she have gone without telling anyone.. Without telling me." Kenzi breathed.

"Yeah."

"Go home Dyson. I'll look out for Bo."

"Okay. But if you need anything.." Dyson relented.

"Thank you." Kenzi said and closed the door.

.

* * *

"Hey Bobo." Kenzi greeted trying not to sound too excited to see Bo venture out of her room. Finally. It took way over a week, but here Bo was hovering beside the sofa.

"Kenz." Bo's voice was hoarse from crying and not talking to anyone in ages.

"Sit." Kenzi said with a small smile. "Have some rum." She added and gave Bo a glass filled with a clear liquid.

"I don't even like rum." Bo said as she sipped the drink carefully at first, but then emptied the glass with one gulp. It burned painfully on the way down. She filled her glass as they sat there quietly.

"I was so worried for her you know?" She said suddenly, after her glass was empty again. She motioned for Kenzi to fill her up.

"Hmm?" Kenzi looked at Bo questioningly, while she poured the alcohol in Bo's glass.

"Did you know she turned Evony into a human?" Bo let out a small gloomy laugh and continued preventing Kenzi from answering. "Evony is fae again, but.. Lauren knew how to turn faes human! If that had gotten out.. Many people would have wanted her dead." She shuddered.

"Good thing, she got friendly with the Morrigan then. She must have protected Lauren despite everything." Kenzi noted.

"What do you mean friendly?" Bo asked, while filling her glass again.

"They seemed like friends to me." Kenzi just shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm glad she had someone, when.. I was floundering." Bo let out a dark laugh. Floundering, that sounded so.. understating.

"What happened with you and Lauren? You know, when I died? I thought you two were heading for love once again. You made the apocalypse wait while you saved your girl." Kenzi chuckled a little.

"You died.. And I.. pushed Lauren away."

"Why would you do that?"

"You were gone and I was a mess. Lauren tried to be there.. For me, but I shut her out. Somehow I just wanted her away from me.. To keep her safe. People around me - they die. And I missed you.." Bo choked out. "I got drunk regularly. Got into senseless fights every other night. And.. I forced poor Dyson to heal me.. Destroying anything he had going on with Tamsin.. It didn't mean anything to me. It was just..What it was. The worst was that Lauren found out about me and Dyson. She didn't say anything, but I could tell she was.. Disappointed in me. And I knew then, I wasn't any good for her. I was desperately trying to forget her.. Stupid huh? I'm a horrible person." She rambled drunkenly.

"Bo.." Kenzi sighed sadly.

"I am. She shouldn't have ever loved me.. I didn't want her to get.. killed because of me. So I pushed her away." Bo chuckled darkly. "And now she's dead anyway.. I broke her heart for nothing."

"I really wish, you would have let her be there for you." Kenzi sighed rubbing Bo's arms, before pulling the succubus into a hug. "Please let me be here for you now. Okay?"

"Okay. Don't let me fall apart, Kenzi." Bo sobbed, leaning on her friend.

"I won't." Kenzi promised.

.

* * *

"Hey. How are you feeling? Well enough to have lunch with me? Out on the town I mean?" Kenzi prodded hesitantly. Bo had been house bound for two weeks, but seemed to get gradually a little better. There were better days among the bad ones.

"Yeah. We could try." Bo muttered quietly.

"I thought you threw that away?" Kenzi said, noting the necklace on Bo. "You know, when you were trying to.. forget Lauren and push her away."

"I just said I did.. I could never throw this away." Bo gave a sad smile. "And now it's the only thing I have of her."

"It's devastating to see you heartbroken Bo."

"My heart is not broken Kenzi." Bo denied softly. "It's in shatters."

"In time it will hurt a little less."

"Yeah.." Bo breathed, her eyes brimming with tears, following the ridges and contours of the pendant on her necklace.

.

* * *

Bo sat down on the soft bright green grass next to a headstone. She had placed a single white rose in front of it. She came here regularly, even though she knew Lauren wasn't really buried here. The Morrigan had told her a few days after Lauren died, that she was released to her parents. Parents, who had already buried her once before. Bo couldn't even imagine their pain.

"Hey. I'm here. Again. I can't believe, it's been almost two years since you died.." Bo began. " 19 months to be exact.. Well, that not two years. More like a year and a half." Her eyes tracked the numbers carved on the stone.

"I'm doing better, you know. I have been talking to someone.. A therapist. I know – Me? Weird right?" Bo chuckled softly. "It has helped me. A lot. I still have some.. bad days.. But I'm doing better."

"I still miss you so much.." She sighed quietly.

Bo just sat there reminiscing, saying a few words once in a while. After an hour, she got up, said her goodbyes and headed towards the exit.

"All good?" Kenzi asked as she stood up from the little bench under a big lush maple tree.

"Yeah." Bo nodded. "I still miss her."

"I know. Me too." Kenzi patted Bo on her back. "So, I'm going to Montreal tomorrow. You sure, you don't want to come? I know it's a boring computer exhibit.. for you." She smirked.

"I'll pass." Bo snorted.

"Suit yourself. You don't know what you're missing." Kenzi grinned.

.

* * *

Thanks for reading :)

A/N Note the 'little' time jump there.

A/N I'm keeping these chapters shortish. Sorry about that. But this way I may be able to update more frequently. Maybe even once a week, but no promises!


	4. An old friend

Thank you for your interest in this story! Love your insightful comments.

Note - there was a time jump at the end of the previous chapter as you may remember :) It's been over year and a half since the accident.

xoxo

* * *

"Stop the car Tamsin! Stop!" Lauren stared at Tamsin, until the woman behind the wheel brieftly met her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Tamsin sighed, not stopping the car and kept her eyes on the road. They been through this many times already in the last few hours. She knew Lauren was having separation anxiety and Tamsin was trying to be patient. Her patience was thin for it being the asscrack of dawn, but the valkyrie was trying. Really.

"I can't leave him. We have to go back." Lauren murmured in distress. "We'll take him with us." She tried.

"You said goodbye already. And it's for a night. Toby will be fine. He has all he needs. And your parents love to have him."

"But.."

"He'll be fine. Or do you not want to go at all? That's more than fine with me.." Tamsin said in a hopeful tone. "Some boring one-day medical conference.. For nerds. There'll be herds of nerds milling about.." She shuddered.

"Hmph." Lauren huffed. "I'm a nerd."

"I know, but I'm not. Do you want me to suffer?" Tamsin whined, but saw Lauren smirking and smirked herself. "Don't answer that."

"Anyway.. We can skip this trip and stay home. This thing is not even manditory, but you insisted to go. Insisted! I don't object, if we miss it. Truly." Tamsin glanced at Lauren seated next to her. The woman was wringing her hands and worrying her lower lip between her teeth.

"Oh gods.. Drive. Drive, before I change my mind. Again." Lauren finally groaned.

"We'll fly to Montreal. We'll be there by noon and your conference starts in the afternoon." Tamsin reminded. "And we'll be home by tomorrow evening.

"Let's do this. Our flight leaves in two hours. We're doing this." Lauren finished nodding her head resolutely.

"Good girl." Tamsin cooed playfully.

"Shut up."

.

* * *

"Yes Bo. Jeez. I'll bring you something. Do you want some knick-knacks or sweets?" Kenzi asked rolling her eyes. Bo had called her to remind to bring her something from Montreal.

"Sweets." Bo laughed on the other end. "You're coming home tomorrow right? Or did you find yourself a cute nerd to salivate over?"

"I found myself a new laptop! And I'm coming home with it tomorrow. I'll take the afternoon train. You can come pick me.." Kenzi trailed off as she saw a familiar figure standing in front of a café.

"Kenzi?"

"Hold on.." She muttered to Bo and walked closer the woman. It can't be.. It just looks like her.. From behind. Duh! Just go and see. It's not her. How could it be her, Kenzi rambled inside her head.

"Bo? I'll call you later, okay?" She said and ended the call without hearing Bo's reply.

"Excuse me?" Kenzi said carefully as she tapped the woman's shoulder, making her turn.

"Oh my god! Lauren?" Kenzi gasped, her big eyes were wide in shock and disbelief.

"Yes?" Lauren asked hesitantly. She didn't recognize the woman. Maybe she's one of my former patients, Lauren mused.

"Holy shit.." Kenzi gaped at the woman. "Holy shit, holy.."

"Hey Kenzi!" Tamsin appeared at Lauren's side. "Lauren this is Kenzi.. An old friend." She said in a strained tone, giving Kenzi a pointed look.

"Nice to meet you Kenzi. Obviously Tamsin has told you about me?" Lauren smiled.

"What? No. How do you mean?" Kenzi stared at Lauren unblinking, not believing, that the blond was really there. Standing there. Right in front of her. She resisted the urge to poke the smiling woman to see, if she was really real.

"You knew my name." Lauren said looking a bit confused. She glanced questioningly at Tamsin.

"Would you excuse us a minute Lo?" Tamsin said with a sweet smile and then scowled at Kenzi, yanking her the opposite way.

"Sure. I'll wait for you inside. I'll call home." Lauren shrugged a little as she turned towards the cafe.

.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing? Where are you dragging me? Why doesn't she remember me? What the hell's going on?" Kenzi fired off snarling, feeling a bit lightheaded and totally unreal.

"Tamsin! What is this?" Kenzi screeched, when Tamsin halted her stride after ducking behind a building.

"I haven't seen you or heard from you in ages! You just disappeared! And Lauren? She's supposed to be dead! DEAD!" Kenzi continued to rant, after the tall blond stayed silent. "I need to talk.."

"Shut up! And don't you dare go talk to her alone." The valkyrie warned hissing. "She doesn't need you confusing her."

"It's really her?" Kenzi whispered with tears brimming her eyes.

"Yes. And.. no." Tamsin breathed quietly. After Kenzi's confused expression, she added. "She's not the Lauren you knew or remember."

"What's wrong with her?"

"There's nothing wrong.. Kenzi, she has a new life now and I need you not to mess it up."

"That's not enough for me. I'm not going away, until I know what happened. How is this possible? I saw her Tamsin. I saw. She was dead. How is she now undead? Not undead.. No. That sounds like a zombie.. Um.. Alive I mean.. Alive! And hanging out with you?!" Kenzi rambled. Different emotions were bouncing restlessly around inside her. Happiness, hope, confusion, apprehension and hesitation to start with. Bo was gonna have an epic flip out, Kenzi suddenly realized.

"Shit.. The moment I saw you here, I knew you'd be a pain in my ass.." Tamsin groaned.

"Well, Ass is my middle name." Kenzi quipped still dazed, making Tamsin snort. "No. No. I meant Pain is my.. Whatever. I am dreaming or what?" She sighed shrugging. She felt her brain was on overload. Her brain was fried.

"I'll meet you later okay? Lauren's waiting for me. Kenzi please don't say anything to Bo." Tamsin begged.

"But I.." Kenzi sighed with wide hesitant eyes.

"Kenzi I'll tell you everything, but you can't tell anyone you met her. Please."

"Okay.." Kenzi agreed reluctantly. "I won't. Yet."

"Meet me at Glenda's. At 7pm? It's at.."

"I know where it is." Kenzi said. Maybe I am really dreaming or maybe.. I'm dead too, she thought as her gaze followed the Valkyrie walking away.

.

* * *

"Finally! I thought you blew me off." Kenzi spat as Tamsin plopped on the seat next to her at Glenda's bar.

"Would I do that?" Tamsin scoffed, but noticed Kenzi's incredulous face. "Yeah right.. Don't answer that."

"Right." Kenzi rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm late. Had trouble shaking Lauren. She wanted me to escort her to this evening thing, but.." The Valkyrie continued.

"Are you with her?"

"Yes. I've been with her since we left Toronto." Tamsin stated matter-of-factly.

"As a couple?" Kenzi clarified.

"We are close." Tamsin said as she waved for the bartender and ordered herself a beer.

"Oh." Kenzi exhaled feeling oddly relieved. Close – that's not the same as a couple is it, she pondered. "How is she doing?"

"After we went to Van.. moved in the city, she was like whirlwind getting her life back on track." Tamsin smiled. "She got.. settled and now she's got her plate full with life and work."

"She's happy?"

"Very." Tamsin assured.

"That's good." Kenzi gave a small smile. "It's strange no one has found out about her.."

"She's dead. Nobody's is looking for her. She even has her own name still. There tons of women named Lauren Lewis. And the Morrigan is always vigilant. She's keeping Lauren cared for."

"So you two are living here in Montreal?" Kenzi asked after a beat.

"We're visiting." Tamsin said. "A medical conference."

"Where do you live then?"

"I'm sorry. I really can't tell you that." Tamsin said sincerely. "What are you having?"

"I need something strong… Vodka." Kenzi sighed. "This is so.. fucking weird."

"Come on, let's get a table."

.

* * *

"Did you lie to me about Lauren being dead?" Kenzi asked quietly after a few drinks.

"No. I thought she died. I saw her.. Dead. I would not lie about something like that." Tamsin reassured.

"Yeah.. She was cold. She was dead. Wasn't she?" Kenzi pondered shaking her head in disbelief.

"She kinda was. The fairy, Freya, managed to heal Lauren with great effort. And then.. Well.. Rigory, if you remember him?"

"Vaguely. The tall man, who looked like an undertaker?"

"That's the one.. He's has the power to do that - Make someone look like they're dead. Suspended animation, Rigor Mortis or some shit.. And he can also make new memories and wipe out old ones. Rigory is very powerful. Apparently he owed Evony a serious favor."

"Evony set this whole thing up? Why?" Kenzi asked surprised.

"Lauren had went to her for help. You know, before the accident. She wanted to get away. No matter what, she had said. She wanted to get away to start over and Evony made it happen. And you know the Morrigan - Go big or go home."

"She said it to me too.." Kenzi sighed. "That she wanted to get a new start." She added, when Tamsin gave her a curious look.

"Yeah, well I didn't know all this back then. Evony told me some of it, when she took me to meet Lauren. And found out the rest later."

"Oh? How did you find out Lauren wasn't dead?"

"It was a few hours later, you know, after you managed to get Bo out of the morgue. She was a mess wasn't she.."

"Yeah. She was a mess for weeks. Months. All of this broke her heart. Bo hasn't been the same since."

"Oh.." Tamsin met Kenzi's eyes. "Well, the Morrigan brought me to this one room and I remember wondering why I need to be in the hospital still.. I was shocked to put it mildly, when I saw Lauren just sitting around. Right there on a hospital bed, swinging her legs nervously.. I really thought she had died. But there she was - alive and well." Tamsin said shrugging and recalled a memory, when Evony had dragged her to a room in the hospital. "That was a weird moment."

...

_"What the hell?" Tamsin screeched as soon as she saw Lauren sitting on the bed, her feet dangling over the side._

_"Quiet." Evony snapped at the valkyrie._

_"Lauren?" Tamsin whispered to the doctor, making her meet her eyes._

_"I'm sorry.. I'm a bit disoriented." Lauren apologized. "I.. I don't remember.."_

_"It fine. It's perfectly normal." Evony smiled, giving the valkyrie a pointed look. "Lauren, after we meet with Rigory again, Tamsin here will be escorting you home."_

_"I am?" Tamsin cut in._

_"You are." Evony snapped._

_"Shouldn't we call Bo? She could.."_

_"Who's Bo?" Lauren asked._

_"No one. Just one of my underlings. I trust you in Tamsin's hands. She's the best." Evony rattled, while Tamsin stood there her mouth hanging open. "Your parents will meet you there. You will be staying with them for a few days, if that's okay? They didn't know you were sick, they thought you were.. dead. Well, anyway they love you and can't wait to see you. Is that okay?"_

_"Yeah. They thought I was dead?" Lauren asked in a sad tone._

_"Yes. You were a Jane Doe in a hospital here. In a coma after your accident. Tragedy. But now everything's going to be better. You're going home." Evony smiled again and then gave Tamsin a nod._

_"I'll have a few words with Tamsin outside, okay?" Evony told Lauren and squeezed her arm gently._

_"Okay."_

_..._

"Evony told me in not so many words that Freya had been able to heal Lauren, but there were some.. issues still with her brain. Which was true. I met Lauren, before Rigory did his memory altering thing.. She was disoriented and didn't remember me or even Evony. There was some damage done by the crash. Lauren wouldn't have been the same even if Evony hadn't intervened."

"Okay?" Kenzi inserted tentatively. This all was a bit much. Her head was spinning with all the information. Information on the woman, a friend, she thought had died.

"Lauren wanted a new life and she had discussed it previously with Evony. And Evony went all in with Rigory. He was there to make Lauren 'dead'.." Tamsin gestured the quoation marks with her fingers. "And to.. I don't know. Poke in her head and memories. Deleting and uploading stuff I guess."

"What stuff?"

"All the fae stuff deleted. She's just a normal doctor, who was in an accident while traveling and fell into a coma. She was never a slave. She was never mistreated. She's happy, Kenzi."

"She remembers nothing of her time in Toronto? Or with the Fae?" Kenzi said, before adding quietly. "Bo?"

"No. She's lucky like that." Tamsin smiled softly.

"How is it possible to just.. plop her into a totally new life?"

"The Morrigan has her ways. I don't know, how many brains she scrambled to do this. At least some I guess. And Lauren is under her protection even when she doesn't know it. To Lauren Evony is a friend."

"That's some weird shit.." Kenzi breathed.

"Tell me about it." Tamsin sighed. "If you want to meet her as a new friend, we could maybe do that? Lunch tomorrow? As a new friend?" She stressed.

"Yeah. I'd like that." Kenzi swallowed thickly. "I'd love to meet her."

.

* * *

"How many does this make?" Kenzi warily eyed her drink a few hours later.

"I've lost count." Tamsin snorted.

"Well, can't be that many. I'm still standing aren't I?" Kenzi slurred slightly.

"You're sitting down." Tamsin deadpanned snorting gleefully.

"You know what I mean. Bitch." The goth smirked.

"So, I heard Bo got her shit together?" Tamsin ventured.

"She did."

"The Morrigan was completely blindsided by the change in the succubus. Told me that 'the arrogant cocky asshole' has changed for the better. Whatever that is."

"Sounds about right.."

"I know it's none of my business, but how is Bo doing?"

"She's doing better. She lost the love of her life. It could have gone either way, but Bo picked herself up instead of spiraling out of control. I told her Lauren would want her to do better and she agreed. But it was a close call, she was ready to fall of the edge of sanity at some point.. It was hard.. for both of us. But she's doing better now."

"That's good. I'm glad."

"She's still hurting though. She's had a few dates with a few guys, but nothing's come out of those. I don't think she's had sex since Lauren died. The Morrigan is giving her the shots, Lauren cooked up. Bo feeds with a fae, who is her.. friend I guess. And it's just feeding, no sex or even kissing."

"Dyson?"

"No. Bo actually apologized to Dyson for stringing him along and let him go."

"Wow. That's a first. No harem? She's really grown up hasn't she?" Tamsin gasped in surprise. "Didn't know she had it in her."

"She's been grieving. It changes you.. To lose someone.. Bo wanted to apologize to you too, but you went awol. She knows she was a bitch.. To all of you. All of us.." Kenzi sighed and both women fell silent.

"Yeah. Shit. I think I'm drunk! Why am I blabbing about Bo's business to you?" Kenzi suddenly blurted. "That's so wrong."

"You need to talk to someone.. I won't tell anyone." Tamsin grinned.

"Good.. Then I'll tell you one more thing, which says a lot.. About Bo and what she feels for Lauren."

"What?"

"She hasn't touched any women. Not even the littlest kiss. I asked her about it a while back. And she told me, the last woman she kissed was Lauren. They shared a liplock the night all the shit went down. The battle of.. whatever. Anyway, Bo doesn't want to erase the kiss from her lips. She wants Lauren to stay as the last woman she kissed."

"I didn't know Bo was such a sap." Tamsin gave a wry smile.

"She is now." Kenzi smiled softly. "You know, I can't keep this from Bo.. She still misses Lauren terribly.. All that pain inside her.. I can't keep this from Bo!"

"I know.. I just hope, you can point it out to her that Lauren is happy now. Bo shouldn't mess that up.." Tamsin sighed. "Or.. Or just maybe you should reconsider telling her?" She finished softly.

"I understand what you're saying.. I do. Bo will flip out. I don't know how she'll react. What she'll do.. But how could I lie to Bo about this?"

"You won't be lying. You just won't tell her."

"That's the same thing." Kenzi sighed anxiously. "But I guess I could not tell her for a while.. I don't know. This is all messed up."

"Kenzi.."

"What? Why do you look like that? Like you want something?" Kenzi groaned drunkenly.

"Um. Actually, I.. we do need your help. Lauren is attending a another medical conference.. in Toronto in two weeks."

"What?! She can't come there!" Kenzi squaled alarmed. "That's bad. I'm sure Bo can.. smell her out or something! Lauren can't come to Toronto, if you want her not to run into Bo! She can't!"

"Calm down. Lauren is adamant in going.. I haven't been able to change her mind. Maybe you could ship Bo out of town for a few days? The conference is in the outskirts of town, so even Evony approved it. And she's made all the precautions."

"Oh god... Fine." Kenzi sighed surrendering. "But just you know, this is all gonna blow up all over our faces. And I will place the blame on you."

"I think that's.. fair." Tamsin nodded with a wry half a smile.

.

* * *

Thanks for reading :)

A/N Slightly difficult chapter to get out for some reason.. But it is what it is.

A/N I quickly went through the previous chapters fixing the typos and adding a few words here and there. Nothing major.

PS. Props to Spyklv, who guessed where I got the idea for the name for Rigory! Rigor Mortis indeed! I didn't think anyone would get that just from Rigory :D


	5. A new friend

Thank you for your interest and very insightful and touching comments :)

xoxo

* * *

Kenzi had slept late trying to cure her raging hangover. When she finally opened her eyes, the first thing she realized.. Besides that she had a killer headache.. was that she had met Lauren yesterday._ Lauren._ Had it all been a dream? Kenzi padded to fetch her bag from the side table. She fished out her phone and noticed that Bo had called at 10.30. It was now 11.45. Kenzi checked her calendar and saw the note for today – at 12.30 meet Tamsin and a new friend/ Haley's.

"Shit!" Kenzi exhaled. "It wasn't a dream!" She just stood there stunned. After a beat she checked her contacts and saw that Tamsin's number was listed there again. A new number. The valkyrie's previous number had been disconnected and Kenzi had finally, very regretfully deleted it from her phone.

"Oh crap. Crap! I'm gonna be late!" Kenzi suddenly hissed, chucking her phone on the table and bolting to the shower. "Oh gods, I'm gonna have to take something for the headache.." She grumbled on her way, massaging her temples with her fingers. She stopped by the bed and grabbed a water bottle from the night table, finishing it in a few large thirsty gulps.

Kenzi had a quick shower, took a pill for her head and then gathered her stuff. When she was ready, she hastily went to the reception to check out, all the while glancing at the time. With her purse, laptop-bag and carry-on in tow, she made her way on foot towards Haley's, which luckily was just around the corner from the hotel.

"Oh please.. Let it not be Bo.." Kenzi begged, when she heard her phone ringing in her pocket.

"Shit.." She shook her head slightly as she noted Bo's smiley face on the screen. Kenzi had taken the picture just few weeks ago, when they visited the amusement park. Kenzi groaned and took a deep breath. "Hey Bo."

"Kenzi. Hey. Got your text last night, that you were going out with some people. Sleeping late?"

"Yeah. I was.. I am a bit hungover." Kenzi admitted. "Didn't hurl though. Just have a headache.. So, um, I was gonna call you later."

"Wild night? Huh?" Bo teased.

"You have no idea.." Kenzi grumbled, her head still reeling from all the things Tamsin had told her. Maybe that was the cause of the headache, the goth idly pondered. Maybe it all was too much for her brain. "So, um, I'll talk to you later? I'm running a little late. I'm meeting, uh, someone.." She stammered a little.

"Oh, you have a date? Lunch date with a hot nerd?"

"Yes. I'm meeting a hot nerd in a few minutes." Kenzi said seriously. Not a lie, she congratulated herself. If Lauren was anything like before she'd be the queen of nerds still.

"Okay. Nice. I don't want to keep you, but you have to tell me all about it, when you get home." Bo said happily.

"I will." Kenzi breathed. That might have been.. a lie. I'm lying to my best friend now – my sister, she fretted.

"Bye."

"Bye Bo." Kenzi slid the phone back in her pocket.

"Oh fuck, I suck so bad.." She sighed hanging her head in shame. "I SUCK!" She screeched getting looks from people passing by.

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* * *

"Where's Lauren?" Kenzi asked once she spotted the Valkyrie sitting alone in the diner.

"She's right there." Tamsin pointed to Lauren, who was standing next to large window with a phone in her hand. "Calling home. Again. Separation anxiety is a terrible thing." She scoffed.

"Why does she have separation anxiety? Is it her parents?" Kenzi asked. "Because, that's a bit strange.."

"No. Not for them. She has someone.. very, very important waiting at home. She'll tell you, if she so wishes. Okay?"

"Okay.." Kenzi agreed hesitantly. Very important? Lauren had somebody in her life? That would certainly put a hitch in Bo's plans, if she.. When she found out about Lauren being alive. Kenzi's thoughts circled once again back to Bo. A weight had settled in her stomach, when she had agreed to keep Lauren's existence from Bo. She wasn't sure she could do it.

This was big. Bo needed to know, but Kenzi didn't want Lauren to get hurt in the process. If I'd trust Bo not to go ballistic, there'd be no problem. But I just don't and.. What a mess, she groaned.

"Stop thinking too much. She's coming." Tamsin warned.

"Hey. Kenzi right? I'm Lauren." The blond shook kenzi's hand and sat down.

"Yeah. Um, nice to meet you. Again. Sorry I was a bit out of it yesterday. Had a.. long day and all that." Kenzi rambled nervously, but roamed her eyes eagerly on the blond. She looks good, healthy, Kenzi noted elatedly. Last time she's seen the blond alive was, when Lauren had came to the shack looking for Bo. The doctor had looked haunted and haggard back then. But now.. Now she looked happy and radiant.

"We all have our off days." Lauren smirked, before eyeing the menu. "I think I'll have the Cobb salad."

"Oh, so that's the same as.." Kenzi blurted, before hastily stopping herself and glancing at Tamsin.

"What?" Lauren met Kenzi's wide eyes.

"Oh! Um.. Just that.. That's the same I would get, if I were a health nut.. But since I'm not, I'll have a burger with a huge stack of fries and a large cola. You have to be a nut all by yourself.." Kenzi rattled and could feel Tamsin's scorching glare on her, but had no idea what Lauren was thinking. That was until she heard the doctor's tinkling laugh.

"You're cute." Lauren grinned.

"Oh? Thanks." Kenzi breathed a sigh of relief. "You mean cute like just, you know, cute? Or cute as in you wanna date me?" She rambled and tried to meet Tamsin's eyes for help, but the now grinning Valkyrie was purposely looking the other way. Oh my god, stop talking! She'll ask you out soon. Or I'll ask her! Just stop talking, Kenzi silenced herself, feeling totally flustered.

"Well, I'll just say _cute_ for now. But let's see how this lunch date goes. You might get lucky yet." Lauren smiled mischievously, making Tamsin snort gleefully.

"So.. Um.. Let's.. order." Kenzi squealed and waved frantically for the waitress.

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* * *

"A good burger?" Lauren asked, when she saw the satisfied expression spread on Kenzi's face after the first bite.

"Oh, sooo good." Kenzi moaned, when she had swallowed the bite.

"Did you know, that scientists have grown a hamburger in the lab? Out of stem-cells of a cow. They had a tasting last year. I read the research. Very interesting." Lauren went on to ramble about the science behind the research, while both kenzi and Tamsin silently ate their food. Even though Kenzi wasn't really listening what Lauren was going on about, she found it hard not to smile.

"What?" Lauren stopped mid-ramble, noticing Kenzi's lips tug up.

"Oh, nothing. Sorry Doc, you're just so.." Kenzi grinned.

"Nerdy?"

"That too. But I was going to say devoted to your.. stuff. And it's cute."

"Oh. Thanks." Lauren smirked. "Sorry, I sometimes get so excited.. about science and things." She shrugged.

"Yeah. I think you just proved that with your thorough presentation on growing cow meat in a lab." Kenzi noted, making Tamsin snort. "Gross by the way."

"Right." Lauren snickered. "Sorry I have to go to ladies room. And we have to go soon or we'll miss our flight."

"She's still the same. Jeez, what a geek monster." Kenzi smiled at Tamsin, once Lauren was out of earshot.

"That she is. Just last week she ranted to me about the germs on my trusted travel coffee mug. For twenty minutes I had to listen to that! I wash it! Just not.. all the time." Tamsin shrugged.

"That's.. gross. Even more so than that lab meat." Kenzi grimaced.

"Shut up."

"But Lauren.. I admit she's different too, you know? She not so closed-off now. She seems so.. I don't know.. Open and trusting. It's.. great to see her like that." She said softly.

"Hey. Tamsin? We should get going." Lauren said as she came back to the table. "So Kenzi, Tamsin told me you live in Toronto?"

"Yeah. That's right."

"I've actually never been there. Shame really, but we're coming in a few weeks. We could meet again, if you'd like? Show me the sights?" Lauren asked.

"That would be.. I'd like that." Kenzi smiled happily, but glanced at Tamsin for approval.

"Me too. So Kenz, you going home by train?" Tamsin cut in.

"Yeah."

"We'll drop you off at the train station. I have a rental car. We're going to the airport straight from here."

"Thanks. That'll be great."

.

* * *

Kenzi had been thinking about her lunch date with Lauren and Tamsin. She had convinced herself, that Lauren found her cute enough to date. The doctor had practically asked her out hadn't she? _We could meet and you could show me the sights?_ That's like a date right? Oh my god, I have a date with Hotpants! Bo's gonna kill me, when she finds out. Unless I'll be dead before that. Bo will kill me, if she finds out that I've kept Lauren being alive from her, Kenzi sighed.

For a week Kenzi had sat on the information she had on Lauren. For a week she had been lying to Bo.. or more precisely not telling her.. and it was weighing heavily on Kenzi. She just didn't know what to do. Kenzi knew Bo had the right to know. Bo needed to know about Lauren, but.. But at what cost? Kenzi didn't want to destroy the life Lauren had now. The doctor was happy and that made Kenzi happy for her. But Bo.. Bo was still missing Lauren and was fundamentally unhappy. That made Kenzi's heart hurt.

And if Bo found out Lauren was alive. What would she do? If Bo found out, that Lauren had someone special back home, where ever that was.. What would she do? Would she.. Could she walk away and leave Lauren be. Could she let Lauren keep her new life and not drag the doctor back to the fae world.

"Oh gods, I don't know what to do!" The goth grumbled aloud.

"Kenzi, what's wrong?" Bo's voice rang out.

"Holy shit!" Kenzi screeched startled. "Sorry.. I didn't know you'd come home so soon.. I'm fine. I'm just venting. Too much on my mind."

"I'm all ears." Bo offered.

"Yeah.. Maybe I should just.. No. I can't. Really. Can I? No." Kenzi rambled while Bo looked at her expectantly with a creased brow. "So.. Um. There's something I have to tell you. Something very important, but I don't think I can tell you yet."

"Oh? How important is this?"

"It's huge. It will change everything.. Bo everything." Kenzi whispered, hoping that Bo would just somehow miraculously guess the truth. "But I can't tell you. I promised. And I.. I'm sorry."

"Kenzi. It's okay. You can tell me anything. You know that." Bo soothed.

"I know, but.. What if I promise to tell you next week? After the weekend. On Monday, I promise I'll tell you everything I know about.. this thing. Please don't hate me.. I'll tell you, but just not now? Is that okay?" Kenzi sobbed. "Just please, please don't hate me after.."

"Kenzi, don't look so worried.. I could never hate you. Everything will be okay." Bo said gently. "You'll tell me when you're ready." The succubus murmured, but was wondering what had gotten Kenzi so upset. She trusted Kenzi and knew she would do the right thing, what ever this was.

.

* * *

"Why did you come with me to the airport? And I still don't get why I have to go get some ancient case files from a PI in Québec!" Bo ranted unhappily as Kenzi dragged her around in the airport.

"Just.. because." Kenzi shrugged. She hated lying to Bo! Fucking Tamsin, the goth fretted.

"Nice." Bo rolled her eyes.

"I said you would get them and that.." Kenzi got cut off, when Bo whooped gleefully beside her. "What?"

"I'll go tomorrow." Bo exhaled joyously. "Or never! They can ship the files by Fedex or something."

"What? No, no, no, no. No. You have to go today! Today!" Kenzi ranted nervously. "You have to go. _Today._" She stressed.

"Can't. Sorry. My flight's been canceled." Bo smiled happily, pointing at the board.

"Shit." Kenzi groaned as she trailed after Bo out of the airport. "Undercover mission my ass.. I knew this would happen! Craptastic disaster!" She muttered. She needed to shoot a text to Tamsin asap.

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* * *

"Why are you stopping? Where are you going?" Kenzi fired off anxiously, when Bo stopped the car at the side of the street.

"Kenzi, what's going on? You're all weird." Bo snorted. "I'm gonna get a mocha frappuccino from Starbucks."

"No. No. Bo, no. Let's just go home. We'll stay home. Order something to eat and watch movie's. We'll stay home. Not go anywhere. Come on." Kenzi rattled her anxiety level rising higher higher every moment. Oh my gods, I need to get her away from here! We have to leave, Kenzi agonized.

"I'll be quick." Bo scoffed giving Kenzi a weird look and then quickly bolted out of the car towards the coffee shop.

"Oh holy shit.. Oh no! Crap. Crap. Crap. Shitcrap! I knew this would happen!" Kenzi croaked as she saw a familiar blond come out of the coffee shop. She scrambled out of the car and took off after Bo.

Bo gasped, her eyes wide in disbelief as she grabbed the door to keep it open for.. "Lauren?"

"Yes?" Lauren smiled. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"I.. Are you real?" Bo whispered, her eyes eagerly roaming on the blond. This is a nice dream, she decided smiling.

"What?" Lauren looked baffled, but gave a small smile anyway. "Oh hey Kenzi! Lovely to see you. Ready for our date tomorrow?" The blond smirked winking at approaching Kenzi, making her flush beet red.

"What?!" Bo roared and both Lauren and kenzi jumped.

"As ready as I'll ever be.." Kenzi groaned. Oh fucking hell. This is a mess of epic proportions!

.

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Thanks for reading :)

A/N Shortish I know, but more to come :) And sorry - 'no cliffhanger' requests denied :D

A/N Might edit a bit later.


	6. Dreaming

Thanks for your support :)

I guess this is a bit.. Angsty.

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* * *

"Oh god, I'm sorry! I was joking. Kenzi tell her I was only joking!" Lauren rambled looking sheepish. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble between you two. Kenzi I'm so sorry. I.. I didn't know she was your girlfriend." She flicked her eyes to the smaller brunette.

"Lauren, it's okay.. Um.. I.." Kenzi tried to figure out something to say without messing up everything. "It's just that.. um.."

"I'm sorry. Please believe me, I was only teasing." Lauren gave a soft smile to Kenzi and then Bo. "Okay, I think I've done enough.. I'll go now." She chuckled awkwardly, put up her hands and started to move away, before she felt Bo grab a hold of her arm.

"Please don't go.." Bo whispered desperately. "Stay. Please.."

"Oh?" Lauren met Bo's teary eyes and felt a bang of guilt hit her. I should have kept my mouth shut! Oh gods, she's upset... I didn't want to mess up Kenzi's relationship. Now I'm gonna get my ass handed to me, she groaned. She flicked her eyes to Kenzi, who looked lost in tought. "Kenzi?"

"Hey Lauren. It's nice to see you. Um.. This is my friend.. Bo. Um, please stay a while?" Kenzi stuttered a little. What the hell do I do now, she fretted and glanced worriedly at Bo. The wide eyed succubus had gone awfully pale. She was still clutching the doctor's arm. It was obvious the woman was in shock. Oh Bo.. This is gonna hurt like bitch, Kenzi sighed inwardly.

"Hey Bo. Nice to meet you." Lauren smiled hesitantly.

Bo was too stunned to say anything. I'm dreaming, she realized. She felt Kenzi poke her in the side and she released her hold on Lauren.

"I really am sorry for.." Lauren sighed.

"Yeah.." Bo quietly cut in. She was feeling lightheaded, like she was gonna pass out any minute, but.. Lauren was here. Bo needed to say her apologies. She took a deep breath to get oxygen in her body. _Lauren was here._ And even, if she wasn't real or really here.. Bo wanted Lauren to know. She wanted her to know everything Bo was feeling.

"Bo maybe we should go home?" Kezi tried. She knew she had to tell Bo everything, but she wouldn't do it in front of Lauren.

"I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry, I was no good for you. I should have been a better woman for you. I wanted to, but I.. was stupid. I love you. I love you so much. I miss you.. I have so many.. regrets.." The succubus desperately rambled whispering, her eyes on Lauren's. "So many.. regrets.."

"Hey. Hey. It's okay." Lauren said softly, thinking the woman was feeling ill and disoriented.

"You.. You forgive me?" Bo whimpered, tears springing into her eyes. "You shouldn't forgive me so easily! I was horrible to you.. I love you, but I treated you so badly.. I'm sorry.. I won't ever hurt you again.. I promise I won't." She got out between uneven breaths.

"Bo, you don't look so good. Breathe.. Maybe you should sit down." Lauren said in her doctor voice, sounding concerned and then met Kenzi's watery eyes. "Kenzi, your gir.. friend really needs to sit down. I think she's about to faint. Does she have any illnesses?" Lauren asked as they steered Bo to a bench and sat her down.

"No." Kenzi said. "No illnesses." She's just heartbroken, she added inwardly.

Bo sat there unmoving, staring at the blond. The blond she hadn't seen in so long. Bo was reeling. What is this? It all seems so real.. But what was Lauren playing at? She's acting like a total stranger. Doesn't she remember? And why was Kenzi being so weird and anxious? Maybe I'm hallucinating, Bo guessed. My dreams.. I hope for more.. romantic dreams. Not those horrifically detailed nightmares about the accident or Lauren leaving, she sighed. This is better. I must be dreaming. Lauren is dead.. But.. But here she is. She's so.. So beautiful. I gods, how I miss her. I miss touching her. And.. I felt her touch my arm.. I felt her arm under my hand. I _felt_ her, she suddenly realized gasping out loud.

"Bo? Do you hear me?" Lauren stared into Bo's eyes and put her palm on Bo's cheek. The doctor's other hand went to Bo's neck to check the rapidly fluttering pulse.

Bo nodded slowly, but kept her eyes latched on Lauren. She drank in every feature. Her gaze reverently tracked the blond's face. Oh my god, I can feel her hands on me. I feel it. I smell her. Her shampoo is different, but Lauren.. Her essence.. She still smells the same. Bo's eyes fluttered shut as she reveled in the moment. A steady stream of tears escaped her eyes. The succubus was overwhelmed with feelings of happiness and familiarity. Memories of Lauren being so close, touching her so gently and lovingly were invading her mind. Why did I ever let her go, she thought regretfully.

"You're so beautiful Lauren. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I should have treated you better. Like you deserve. You deserve the best.. I never should have let you go.." Bo sobbed. "I never.."

"Shh Bo. It's okay." Lauren soothed worriedly and caressed Bo's cheeks with the pad of her thumbs, which just made the succubus cry harder.

"It's not! You're gone and nothing's okay!" Bo wailed, her hands clasped on Lauren's forearms.

"Bo? Please calm down a little okay. You're gonna pass out." Lauren said calmly. "Breathe in and out. nice and easy."

"Just like that. Good." The doctor praised, when Bo took shuddering breaths to fill her lungs. "It'll be okay. Take nice deep breaths for me."

"I think.. um.. She just has been eating poorly. I'll get her something on the way home." Kenzi cut in. She was floundering, but had to do something before Bo had a complete breakdown. Lauren didn't need to see that. Not this Lauren.

"I have an organic orange juice in my purse. It should help a little. Just a sec." Lauren untangled herself from Bo's grip and riffled through her bag, while throwing concerned glances at Bo. "Here." She popped the lid open and put the small carton in Bo's hand and urged her to drink it.

"Feeling better?" She asked as she met the brunette's watery eyes.

"Yes.. I guess?" Bo stammered swallowing thickly..

"You look better." Lauren smiled softly and took her coffee cup from the ground, where she placed it earlier. "I'm sorry I have to go now. I have a lecture to get to. Have a nice day Bo. Remember to eat. Kenzi, you'll take care of her right? Call me, if you need me." She said, waiting for a nod from Kenzi, before walking briskly into the Toronto Conference center and out from under Bo's roaming eyes.

"I will." Kenzi whispered.

"Did that really happen? Was she real Kenzi?" Bo sighed aloud, leaning heavily on the bench, feeling out of it and weak at knees. She felt she couldn't move. Her body was completely frozen. "Kenzi?"

"Bo.. Um.. I'll take you home and we'll talk there okay."

"I'm losing it right?" Bo peered to the direction where Lauren had disappeared to. She's gone. She was never here. I probably fainted and.. hallucinated the whole thing. "I miss her Kenzi." The succubus said with fresh tears falling on her cheeks.

"I know." Kenzi sighed sadly. She sat down next to Bo and gathered the distraught, sobbing woman in her arms, holding her in a tight embrace.

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* * *

"Hey. Tam Tam. I thought you'd wait for me outside?" Lauren scolded, when she found Tamsin by the coffee cart in the center.

"I needed fuel." Tamsin pointed to her coffee cup.

"I just met Kenzi." Lauren gave a little smile. "And her friend Bo."

"What?!" Tamsin barked and spilled her coffee on the marble floor.

"Jeez! What the hell Tamsin?" Lauren squealed as she jumped at the woman's outburst. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry.. Sorry." Tamsin tried to calm herself. She eyed Lauren, who looked.. Well, normal? "You shouldn't swear so much."

"Shut up." Lauren narrowed her eyes at the taller blond. "What was that?" She gestured to the floor.

"I just.. got a spasm. So, um.. You met Kenzi? And.. Uh. Bo?" Tamsin stuttered anxiously.

"Spasm? Right.. Yeah, they were just outside. Going into the coffee shop, I was exiting.. I needed fuel too." Lauren smirked and lifted her cup. "Quality fuel. Not that swill." She eyed Tamsin's drink.

"So how is Kenzi?" Tamsin prodded warily.

"We didn't talk much. Her '_friend'_ was feeling ill. Kenzi promised to take care of her." Lauren said the word friend in a disbelieving tone.

"Ill?"

"She was extremely pale and disoriented. She seemed to think I was someone else. Kenzi didn't say, but I think Bo might be diabetic. Or at least she seemed to suffer from hypoglycemia. She seemed better after she drank some juice." Lauren explained.

"She thought you were someone else?" Low blood sugar my ass, the Valkyrie thought. The succubus was most likely thinking she's lost her mind. Or keeled over and died.. Shit. What a mess! I knew we shouldn't have come to Toronto!

"Yeah. She apologized repeatedly for past misdeeds and told me she loves me. She was really emotional." Lauren let out a little humorless chuckle. "It was a bit embarrassing."

"Oh?" Tamsin breathed hesitantly. "Embarrassing?"

"Well, Kenzi was right _there_! She said they were friends, but.. They are a couple aren't they? I teased her about our date." Lauren groaned. "And then this gorgeous woman is telling me all these things. About loving me, being sorry and missing me.. Saying I'm beautiful! And Kenzi was being really weird and sad and looked ready to cry.."

"No.. What a mess.." Tamsin groaned under her breath. "They are friends only. Like sisters. I think Kenzi was just worried for Bo. She'll be fine?"

"Yes, she was feeling better when I left."

"Sure she was.. Uh.. I have to go out side to make a.. phone call." She grumbled, needing to call the Morrigan about this disaster.

"You're not going anywhere. This thing is just starting and you promised to be with me." Lauren said resolutely and grabbed Tamsin's hand, steering her deeper into the building.

"But.."

"No buts. Come on. I don't want to miss anything." Lauren tugged the valkyrie forward.

"Shi..bbles." Tamsin corrected, making Lauren smirk.

Lauren had been adamantly forcing Tamsin not to swear in front of Toby. And it was obviously starting to work. A little, not much, Tamsin shrugged. Fucking hell, I have to call the Morrigan. Shit is gonna hit the fan once Bo regains her senses, the Valkyrie feared. I'll text Evony once Lauren is immersed in all that geeky shi.. stuff and give her a heads up, she decided.

.

* * *

Kenzi was drinking her soda, fiddling nervously with the bottle cap in her hand. She was eyeing warily at Bo, who was sleeping on the sofa. Kenzi had driven them home, Bo being a total mess. Bo had sobbed and rambled through the whole drive home about the past, Lauren and what she had hoped for their future. Kenzi had only inserted a few 'ahas' and 'okays' in between Bo's musings. Kenzi had first tried to talk to Bo in the car, but noticed that her friend was in a world of her own. The succubus had seemed to be in a total haze. Lost in her thoughts and memories. At the crack shack Bo had sat silently on the couch and then finally slumbered off exhausted. Now after few hours, Kenzi saw Bo start to stir. Oh gods… This is it, the goth took a breath.

"Oh hey Kenzi." Bo yawned, when she woke up on the couch. "I had the.. weirdest dream. About Lauren.. You were in it too.."

"Bo.." Kenzi noted Bo's puffy red eyes and shook her head slightly.

Kenzi fleetingly thought that maybe she should let Bo believe, that the last few hours were a dream. Would it be easier? Would it be better? But Kenzi knew she couldn't do that to Bo. She couldn't do that to herself. The last few weeks, she had been stressed and miserable keeping all this from Bo. Bo needed to know. And Tamsin had hopefully already contacted the Morrigan. So she'd be ready to handle.. What ever happened.

"Kenzi? Is something wrong?" Bo asked in a hoarse voice and tried to clear her throat with a little cough.

"No. Nothing's _wrong_. Or maybe it.. I just.. have to tell you.. something." Kenzi said quietly.

"Yes? Like I said before you can tell me anything." Bo assured, taking in a nervous and sad looking Kenzi

"Promise me, you won't run off. Not before I've told you everything." Kenzi started.

"Kenzi, what's going on?" Bo asked more firmly.

"It wasn't a dream Bo." Kenzi whispered.

"What?" Bo breathed, her eyes roaming on Kenzi's face, trying interpret the various emotions flitting on the goth's pale face.

"It wasn't a dream. Lauren is alive. She's alive and I ran into her in Montreal two weeks ago. I couldn't believe it! It's unbelievable, isn't it? Lauren is not dead, Bo. She alive, but.. She doesn't remember.. anything." Kenzi paused her ramble for a small moment to lock eyes with Bo. "Lauren is alive and she has this whole new life.. And.. And she's alive Bo. It was really her. It was _her_ you met today."

"What?" Bo croaked again.

"Lauren's alive and well." Kenzi said. "I'm sorry I kept this from you, but I.. I just didn't know what to do. Lauren has this whole new beautiful, happy life now and I.. I don't know.. I didn't want to ruin it."

"You should have told me." Bo whispered dazed and disappointed. "As soon as you found out, you should have told me Kenzi." She snapped, but without much force.

"I know." Kenzi sighed quietly. "I know, but Lauren has this new carefree life and I didn't want to mess it up.. And I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"She doesn't remember anything?" Bo asked in hushed tone.

"No. Nothing of the fae. Nothing from her time here in Toronto. She doesn't remember her time as a slave, being mistreated. Lauren has been given better memories. A better life. She remembers nothing."

"Me?" Bo said so quietly, that Kenzi barely heard her.

"I'm sorry Bo. She doesn't know who you are.." Kenzi said sadly.

"Oh." Bo breathed and dropped her eyes to her hands resting on her lap.

"She's happy Bo. After.. she died , you said you would have done so many things differently. You said you wanted nothing more than her to be happy. She's alive and happy Bo. I think you should remember that, before you do anything.. stupid." Kenzi said softly.

Bo was silent for a long time with Kenzi watching over her. Kenzi was surprised that Bo hadn't yet stormed off to find Lauren and whisk her away, whether the blond wanted it or not.

"Bo?"

"How is this possible? Did she or someone fake her death? But she was dead wasn't she? I.. I saw her.. I held her in my arms.. She was so cold. She was cold Kenzi."

"Lauren would have died in that accident, if the Morrigan hadn't saved her. She brought in a healer, who saved Lauren's life. The Morrigan gave Lauren a new life. I believe it's better this way. Really." Kenzi put her hand on Bo's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"The Morrigan did this?" Bo gasped, lifting her eyes from her hands.

"Bo, she gave Lauren a new beginning. Lauren wouldn't have been the same either way. There was some issues with her brain. And Lauren had asked Evony to help her to start over. I believe this is what Lauren would have wanted. I know she wouldn't have wanted to cause you so much pain, but she would have wanted to be happy."

"Evony had no right! No right to do this. She made me believe Lauren was dead! She had no right." Bo hissed angrily and stood up, slapping Kenzi's hand from her shoulder.

"Bo where are you going? Please don't try to find Lauren. She doesn't remember you! You'll scare her! Please calm down. I think, we.." Kenzi tried desperately to get through to Bo.

"Kenzi, you should have told me!" Bo roared, her eyes blazing.

"Bo please.." Kenzi sighed tearfully.

"I'm gonna visit the Morrigan." Bo spat and took off, slamming the door forcefully behind her.

"Bo! No! Wait!" Kenzi yelled, but Bo was already out the door. "Shit. Shit. Shit."

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Thanks for reading :)

A/N This one was a bit of a struggle to write. Hopefully it didn't suck too bad. And yes - another cliffhanger.. I don't know what's wrong with me :D

And I might edit some later.

A/N Next week is looking a bit hectic for me, so it might take a little longer for me to update! Sorry. (I'll update the art of betting over the weekend and Just like heaven next week).


	7. Can't go back

Thanks for your follows, comments and favorites :)

PS. Fixed the lyrics to Explosions in the first chapter.

xoxo

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Bo's thoughts were filled with blinding rage as she tore through the streets of Toronto towards the Morrigan's headquarters. Her hands were gripping the steering wheel of her Camaro so hard her hands were shaking with the effort. Bo growled under her breath and she pushed the gas pedal down more. The Morrigan had no right to keep Lauren from her! No right to make it seem like Lauren had died! All that pain! That bitch had no right! Lauren is mine! The succubus ranted inwardly. She parked her car and stalked to the building looming ahead.

"She's mine." Bo whispered in a low tone, when she forcefully ripped the entrance door open shattering its glass to a thousand pieces. She strode with purposeful steps towards the white door of the Morrigan's office, but was stopped by a determined looking petite woman, who stepped in her way.

"Unless you're suicidal, you need to move." Bo warned growling. "I'm here for the Morrigan."

"I'm her secretary. The Morrigan is a very busy woman. If you don't have an appointment... You need to leave. I've already called security." The secretary informed Bo in an even voice. At least seemingly unaffected by the angry brunette, she kept blocking the door with her body.

"You have a death wish?! I'm going in! I swear to gods, if you don't step away, I'm gonna throw you on your ass! I won't hesitate to _hurt_ you." Bo hissed menacingly with her bright blue eyes blazing.

"Then you must do.." The secretary started as three security guards jogged their way.

"Miriam. Boys. It's okay." Evony intervened opening her door. "Bo, I've been expecting you. Please come in." She said pleasantly as if Bo was any other guest.

.

* * *

"Evony, what the hell?!" Bo shrieked as she entered the office after Evony, who had already sauntered to stand behind her desk. For safety or perhaps a gun, Bo vaguely pondered closing the door behind her. She wanted to rip the other woman to shreds, but she needed to know about Lauren first. Bo took a deep breath, but still held onto her anger. She would control herself until she had what she needed and.. then she would have her revenge on Evony.

"So, miss Dennis.. Whatever brings you here? Destroying my property?" The Morrigan asked with a wry smile. "Causing mayhem?"

"You know why I'm here! You made me believe, that Lauren was dead!" Bo snarled stalking closer until she was standing right next to the Morrigan's mahogany desk. Only the desk separating Bo from ripping Evony's throat open. I'll do that soon enough, Bo thought devilishly.

"Yes. Yes I did." Evony nodded calmly and crossed her arms on her chest.

"I'm gonna hack off you head Evony!" Bo threatened irritated by the Morrigan's flippant attitude.

"You can try." Evony smiled wickedly.

"Don't tempt me! You took her from me!" Bo roared angrily. "You let me believe Lauren was dead! I'm gonna kill you for it!" She promised.

"I'd do it all over again." The Morrigan assured without hesitation. "I _truly_ have no regrets."

"Tell me where she is! Tell me!" Bo was loosing control under the Morrigan's icy judging stare. The dark fae seemed completely unaffected by Bo's meltdown. She was not afraid, Bo realized.

"Why?"

"What?!" Bo spat.

"Why should I tell you where the good doctor resides?" Evony elaborated with a serious, almost sincere expression on her face.

"I need to see her! I want to see her! I want to.." Bo started to rant pointing her finger menacingly at the Morrigan.

"Oh yes. And you think _Lauren_ needs to see a raging succubus?" Evony cut in sharply and pounded her fist on the desk for emphasis. "I don't know how much Kenzi told you, but Lauren does not remember you. You go barging to her, you'll scare her. Is _that_ what you want?"

"No." Bo deflated a little. "But I need to tell her what she means to me. I want her in my life. I refuse to let her go again!" She managed to hiss.

"Bo. Bo. Bo. Tsk. Tsk." Evony sighed condescendingly, placing her palms on the wooden surface of her desk. "Wrong answer."

"What do you mean? It's the truth!" Bo spat narrowing her eyes.

"Oh I know it is." The Morrigan nodded. "Do you hear yourself Bo? I want, I need, me, me, me.. Sad really. Still not thinking what's best for Lauren - What _she_ wants, what _she_ needs. Are you?"

Bo fell silent. She couldn't deny what Morrigan was saying, but she really needed to see Lauren. She couldn't just let her go. She breathed heavily and her shoulders sagged, the fire and fight leaving her body. She needed to see Lauren. Desperately.

.

* * *

"Miss Dennis, do you think Lauren needs a selfish succubus in her life? Hmm? Because I think not. What good would you bring to her life?" The Morrigan asked flatly after she had eyed the silent succubus for a few minutes.

"I.. I don't know." Bo whispered, the blue of her eyes now totally gone. "I love her."

"I know you do, but do you really want to drag her back to the world of Fae? You claim to love her, but you would do that to her? Just for _you_?"

The silence stretched again inside the office until Bo sighed raggedly. "No. I can't do that to her."

"I sense a but coming?" The Morrigan prodded almost softly.

"I thought she died! I wished I could see her once more and.. She died and.. I have to see her." Bo couldn't stop the tears falling from her eyes.

"I agree."

"I mean it Evony. I'm gonna find her. And you can't stop.." Bo paused her beginning rant. "What? You agree?"

"Yes. I think you need to see her. You'll see how happy she is now. You however, will not tell her about your shared past. You'll meet her and then you will say your goodbyes."

"What if I.."

"You don't want to test me on this. You hurt her and I'll hurt you." Evony said with an imminent threat. "Besides Lauren is human Bo. She's free. She doesn't belong with us. She never did. She's free and I would have thought you would want that for her."

"Yeah." Bo swallowed thickly. She came here to tear into Evony, but here she was.. Holding back tears, trying not to break down in front of the woman, who had wisked Lauren to a new life. A woman, who had made valid points of Bo's behavior. Bo swallowed difficultly.

"Here's the address to her hotel." Evony shoved a paper in Bo's hand. "I trust you to do the right thing for her for once in your life. Now.. Get out."

"You won't stop me from seeing her?" Bo asked quietly.

"No."

"Oh." Bo breathed nodding as she headed to the door.

"Bo? Lauren has someone special in her life. Someone she loves very much. Much more than she ever loved you." Evony called out just before Bo exited her office.

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* * *

"Well, that wasn't nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be." Evony muttered darkly as her door clicked shut.

"What do you think she'll do?" Tamsin asked as she emerged from the dark corner of the Morrigan's office. She had been there the whole time, ready to take out the succubus, if Evony had ordered her to.

"Hopefully nothing stupid. She has come a long way for the hothead she was, but she's understandably in shock. She loves Lauren. I hope she loves her enough to let her go and not try and drag her back."

"What if she does say something to Lo?" Tamsin sighed. "About all this?"

"We'll deal with then. I have contacts to deal with things. For now I choose to trust Bo to make the right decision." Evony shrugged. "If she doesn't, I'll have no problems ending her."

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* * *

Bo had sat for hours in her car, that was parked across the street from Lauren's hotel. She had tried to come to a decision what to do. The urge to run inside and grab Lauren in her arms, to kiss the blond senseless was strong, but Bo was desperately fighting it. I need to see her again, but I can't go in there in this state. I'll scare her and I'll destroy everything.. I'm a mess.. I need to talk to Kenzi, Bo sighed wiping her eyes and started her car.

"Bo. What happened?" Kenzi sighed with odd mixture of dread and relief, when weary looking Bo entered the crack shack. "Did you see Lauren?"

"I couldn't go to her!" Bo cried and launched herself towards Kenzi and burrowed herself in the smaller woman's embrace. "Evony gave me the address of Lauren's hotel.. And I sat there in front of it and I.. I couldn't go in! Not after meeting Evony." She sobbed in Kenzi's shoulder.

"What did Evony do to you?" Kenzi asked hesitantly. The Morrigan was known to show no mercy and strike with force, if needed.

"Nothing. She just.. spoke the truth and.. it hurt." Bo sighed tearfully. "I can't be with Lauren. The best thing for her is for me to leave her be. I love her, but.." She trailed off squeezing her eyes shut tightly.

"Are you seriously considering letting her go?" Kenzi asked and felt Bo nod slowly.

"I don't want to.. But I don't want to hurt her. She's happy, she has someone and me.. a succubus, I would never be enough for her. She deserves someone.. better."

"Wow… I'm.. I'm surprised." The goth breathed.

"I want to see her." Bo murmured. "Do you think I should?"

"Maybe you should. You'd see she's healthy and happy. It might be easier to let her go?"

"Maybe, but my.. heart wants to not let her go.. What am I gonna do? Could I be just.. her friend?" Bo murmured distressed.

"Bo, only you know that.. If you do decide to meet her again, you have to hold yourself together. You have to get to know Lauren. This new her without digging up the past. Bo, the past is gone. You can't go back. Only forward."

"I might not be able to do that Kenzi. Maybe it's better I stay away. I know she's alive and happy and.. If I see her, I'm gonna kiss her.. And then what?" Bo sighed raggedly against Kenzi's neck.

"I don't know Bo." Kenzi said softly and tightened her hold on Bo. "I don't know."

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* * *

"Hey Bo." Lauren smiled, when she noticed Bo hovering in the hotel lobby.

"Lauren. Um.. Hi." Bo stuttered, while she ogled the blond, who was wearing tight form-fitting work-out clothes.

"You're looking better." Lauren smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh.. I'm fine. Thanks.." Bo swallowed a lump in her throat and resisted the urge to crush the blond against her body and never let go.

"I just came from the gym." Lauren motioned to the hallway. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh.. Yes.. I.. I.. met a client at the bar." Bo lied nervously.

Bo had managed to stay away barely _a day_. She actually had come to the hotel to see a glimpse of the blond, who was now standing right in front of her. She never meant to bump into her, just.. spy on her a little. Bo hadn't even told Kenzi, that she intended to go and stalk Lauren. Bo had tried to talk herself out of it, but it hadn't worked.. Obviously. Here she was. Standing face to face with the woman she desperately loved. If only things were different, Bo sighed inwardly. Just hold it together! She commanded feebly, while her eager eyes roamed on the blond's face and body and all that beautiful blond hair. Bo wanted to slide her fingers through the blond mane. She knew her emotions were unguarded flitting all over her face, but hoped that Lauren wouldn't notice. Or at least wouldn't comment on it.

"Oh right. Evony told me you're a private investigator." Lauren nodded, her eyes sweeping over Bo's face. Lauren gave a little shy smile, when a weird tingly feeling settled in her stomach.

"Yeah. Um.. So.. Sorry about the other day. That day was just.. draining for me and I'm sorry, if I said.. anything.. stupid." Bo looked awkward and sheepish, but Lauren noticed a strange familiar longing in the brunette's eyes.

"Bo, it's okay." Lauren took Bo's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Oh." Bo's eyes dropped to their joined hands. She absentmindedly brushed the skin of Lauren's hand with her thumb, before lifting her gaze back to Lauren's eyes. Bo's breath hitched, when she noted Lauren's eyes caressing her lips.

Bo felt her heart thundering in her chest. She's going to kiss me. I know that _look._ This is dream. A good dream - She's going to kiss me. Bo quivered in anticipation as Lauren's lips got slowly closer and closer. A small whimper escaped Bo's mouth, when Lauren's soft lips finally brushed against hers. Bo dared not deepen the kiss or put her hands on the blond. Lauren however didn't have such reservations. The blond released her hold on Bo's hand and her freed hands tangled in Bo's hair as she kissed Bo more passionately. Bo's aroused growl a moment later caused Lauren to unlock their lips with a shocked gasp.

"Oh God! I'm sorry. That was.. I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that.. Um, I shouldn't have done that. I'm so.." Lauren rambled panting a little and pulled away visibly shaking her body.

"Lauren.." Bo breathed in a daze, her jaw hanging open. She felt tingling on her lips and all over her body. She sighed elatedly. "It was.."

"Hey baby." Lauren suddenly cooed and looked behind Bo with twinkling eyes. "Oh Bunny, I've missed you." She started moving.

Bo unsteadily turned around to follow Lauren with her gaze and saw an older woman with a little baby in her arms coming towards them. Lauren pecked the smiling woman on the cheek and picked up the child, peppering the happily squealing baby's face with little kisses.

"How has he been mom?" Lauren asked the woman.

"He's an angel, you know that."

"Who's mommy's little prince?" Lauren tickled gently the baby's belly. "Oh, you are Toby. Yes you are." She grinned happily, closing her eyes and nuzzled her nose on Toby's head inhaling the sweet baby smell.

"Lauren's a mommy?" Bo breathed quietly, her eyes glued to the scene unfolding before her.

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* * *

Thanks for reading :)

A/N Not that happy with this chapter, but it is what it is.. I'm struggling a bit with this story! I don't know why.. Maybe I'm just not cut to write this drama/angst filled stuff. *sigh* But worry not, I'll push this out. I have this story all planned out to the end. I only have to write it! Easy :D


	8. Stay calm

Thanks for your follows, favorites and comments :)

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* * *

Bo drove home in a daze. different thoughts were whirling around her mind. Lauren had kissed her. Bo wondered, if she might have pushed her a little. Lauren had a baby. Five month old cute baby boy. Toby. She had met Lauren's mother Margaret, Bo shook her head in disbelief. What a strange day it had been. I was supposed to stay away from Lauren, but now I'm going to see her again. See her soon.

"Bo? You okay?" Kenzi eyed her friend, who plopped heavily on the sofa. "Why do you look like that? Where were you?"

"I.. I went to Lauren's hotel." Bo admitted shrugging still finding everything that happened incredible. She was trying desperately to collect her thoughts.

"Bo.." Kenzi chided gently.

"I just wanted to see her.. I wasn't planning on meeting her or anything. But then she bumped into me. And we talked a little. It was.." Bo sighed. "It was great. She's so smiley and carefree now. I wanted to hold her.. to wrap my arms around her so bad.."

"Did you?"

"No. I didn't. But.. I love her Kenzi." Bo breathed quietly.

"I know."

"It's so hard to.. It's hard that she doesn't remember me." Bo breathed. "Though she may remember a little.."

"What? What did she say?" Kenzi gasped with wide eyes.

"She.. She kissed me." Bo smiled hesitantly. "She got that look.. and I knew she was going to kiss me.. And she did."

"And?" Kenzi prodded.

"It was.. heavenly." Bo sighed happily. "She was shocked after. Lauren really didn't mean to kiss me. I think I might.. She was holding my hand and.. I wanted to kiss her.. I might have enthralled her. Unintentionally." She shook her head slightly.

"You're not sure?"

"No. We were holding hands and then she kissed me." Bo's gaze dropped to her hands resting on her lap.

"Maybe she wanted to kiss you too? You're hot right?" Kenzi teased hoping to ease Bo's wariness. "So what happened then?"

"Her mother came to us with a baby."

"A baby? What baby? Whose baby?" Kenzi rattled with wide eyes.

"Lauren's. She has a beautiful baby Kenz. A baby, who looks exactly like her. He's.. He's gorgeous. He kept staring at me with his beautiful eyes, while he kept a strong hold on my finger. Lauren has a son, Kenzi." Bo breathed in awe.

"Does that bother you?" Kenzi asked carefully.

"No." Bo said without hesitation. "Did you know she's a mommy?"

"No I didn't." Kenzi gave a small smile. "The little guy will probably grow up to be a brainiac like her mama. How old is he?"

"Probably." Bo chuckled. "Toby's 5 months soon."

"Oh." Kenzi acknowledged.

"Do you think Lauren has.. someone at home? She didn't say anything about Toby's other parent. And I.."

"I think she's single. She hasn't mentioned anyone to me. Well, except maybe Ta.." Kenzi thought back to her conversations with Lauren.

"Oh, Lauren invited me.. and you to dinner. So.. We're having dinner with Lauren tonight." Bo cut in sounding a bit hesitant as she was expecting Kenzi to shoot her down.

"Just Lauren?" Kenzi said with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" Bo huffed, before rolling her eyes. "Oh, right. Maybe her mother will join us?"

"I wasn't thinking of her mother.." Kenzi groaned expecting Bo to flip out, when the succubus found out about Tamsin.

"Who then?" Bo narrowed her eyes at her fidgeting friend.

"Tamsin." Kenzi said flatly.

"Tamsin?" Bo scoffed. "Why the hell would Tamsin suddenly.."

"She's Lauren's BFF or something. Apparently they're close. Tamsin's been with Lauren since the accident." Kenzi blurted, but regretted it as soon as she saw Bo's darkening face.

"_Been_ with her?" Bo snarled. "What do you mean?"

"Not like that." Kenzi quickly denied, but then fell silent. "Uh.. At least I don't think so.."

"What?" Bo seethed in jealousy and rage. The thought of the Valkyrie with _her_ Lauren was making her blood boil. The thought that Tamsin had been with Lauren all this time, while Bo had been brokenhearted, was making the succubus stomach clench uncomfortably. "Kenzi? Tell me." She hissed.

"Tamsin's.. I don't know.. Lauren's bodyguard? Companion? Evony ordered Tamsin to stay with Lauren.. And now they're.. close? Um.. Friends?" Kenzi rambled imploringly, eyeing warily the twitching brunette.

"Close? CLOSE?!" Bo roared. She froze panting and desperately trying to reign in her jealousy and the piercing pain slicing her heart. Was Tamsin Toby's other mother, Bo fumed. "Tamsin is with Lauren?! That's WRONG. WRONG KENZ!"

"Bo.. Calm down. I don't know what they are! We'll find out okay? Please, please don't lose your shit now! You have to control.."

"That woman has been with Lauren this whole time?! It should have been ME! ME, KENZI! I'M THE ONE WHO LOVES HER!" She bellowed and stalked to her room slamming the door so hard it barely stayed on its hinges.

"This dinner tonight is going to be.. lovely." Kenzi sighed rolling her eyes.

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* * *

"I could fall for her you know." Lauren said lifting her eyes from the book she was reading. Tamsin was sitting next to her on the sofa in Lauren's room. The taller blond had been fiddling with her tablet. "I must not, but I truly could. Easily."

"Who?" Tamsin asked flippantly even though she knew very well who Lauren was talking about.

"Bo. Beautiful Bo. She's so sweet and considerate." Lauren exhaled dreamily.

"Right." Tamsin snorted, making Lauren glare at her. "Sorry. There was something in my throat." She grinned smugly.

"There's something.. enticing about her. It's weird. I feel like I.. know her somehow.. Especially when I touch her.. she feels so familiar? I don't know. Strange huh?" Lauren breathed deeply and forced her eyes back on the open page of her book. "I kissed her." She admitted murmuring quietly, but Tamsin heard her anyway.

"You did what?!" Tamsin screeched loudly. "Why?!" She continued alarmed. This could cause trouble. Big trouble.

"Shh! For gods sake! Toby's sleeping." Lauren hissed and both women silently waited, if the boy would wake.

"I.. I just couldn't help myself. She stood there all beautiful and smiling softly holding my hand.. Looking like she wanted to touch me and kiss me, but wasn't brave enough. Um, and I pounced on her." Lauren shrugged sheepishly after a beat.

"Did you feel.. warm tingles or something on your hand before you wanted to kiss her?" Tamsin asked wanting to know, if that infuriating succubus had used her powers on the blond.

"What? No." Lauren scoffed with baffled expression. "Why?"

"No reason." Tamsin shrugged. Maybe Lauren's body remembers Bo somehow even when her mind doesn't, the valkyrie pondered worriedly.

"I also invited Bo and Kenzi to join us for dinner tonight." Lauren revealed nonchalantly.

"Oh my gods! Why?" Tamsin whined desperately. Bo probably didn't even know that Tamsin was here or involved in this. Now she would and the succubus would most likely flip out and mess up everything.

"I like her. And I like Kenzi." Lauren said resolutely. "We're having dinner with them tonight. Mom promised to be with Toby for a few hours."

"And tomorrow we'll leave for Vancouver. This is just dinner and you're not thinking staying here for Bo or anything? Right?" Tamsin asked.

"Stay here for Bo? Seriously Tam Tam? I barely know her." Lauren said meeting Tamsin's apprehensive green eyes. "Like I said I could easily crush on Bo, but I won't let myself do that. I have a life in Vancouver and I can't wait to get home. I've had enough of travelling for months to come. Me and Toby are in Vancouver to stay." She smiled softly.

"Good." Tamsin nodded relieved. They would leave tomorrow and that would be the end of this hassle.

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* * *

"Bo you need to be calm. Stay calm. Not get into a.. scuffle with Tamsin." Kenzi whispered pointedly as they entered the restaurant on the ground floor of Lauren's Hotel. The goth had been prepping Bo for hours it seemed. They both knew that if Bo lost her cool all hell would break loose and Lauren would be the one to suffer.

"For Lauren you'll be nice and civil throughout this dinner. Right?" Kenzi reminded.

"I will." Bo flexed her neck from side to side and took a deep breath. "For Lauren." She wouldn't let herself upset the blond doctor in any way. Bo knew that she'd just have to buck up and enjoy this evening and forget the rest.

"Good. Let's go. There they are." Kenzi waved at Lauren, who had already noticed them.

Bo's eyes latched on Lauren. The succubus released a happy sigh at the sight of the smiling blond with twinkling eyes. Their earlier kiss flitted through her mind even when she tried to suppress it. Her eager eyes roamed on the blond's face, lips and cleavage. And even from a distance, it was having an obviously arousing effect on the brunette.

"Oh gods." Kenzi groaned noticing Bo's lustful expression. "Come on! Do not get it on with Lauren either." She hissed and tugged Bo with her. "Stay calm." The goth repeated and Bo released a staggering breath.

"Right.." Bo said feebly following her friend.

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* * *

"Lauren." Bo exhaled swooning, when they reached the table. Seeing Lauren so carefree and happy was doing strange things to the brunette's insides.

"Bo. Glad you could make it." Lauren gave a wide smile, that made Bo's stomach flip pleasantly. "Kenzi, you too." The blond added meeting Kenzi's eyes.

"Of course we made it." Kenzi smiled. "Hey Tamsin." She nodded to the valkyrie hoping to convey her concern about Bo through her eyes.

"Tamsin." Bo greeted clenching her jaw, when she turned to the woman.

"Bo." Tamsin replied eyeing the succubus warily.

"I'd say it's a pleasure, but.." Bo spat.

"Bo." Kenzi cut in. "Be nice. Sit." I'm gonna have an ulcer after tonight, she guessed unhappily.

"Yes. Be nice." Tamsin smirked despite the fact that cold dread was filling her gut. This evening could go terribly wrong. So fast. She took a deep breath and filled Lauren's water glass, when they all had sat down.

"Oh, you two know each other?" Lauren motioned between Bo and Tamsin. She was sensing the tension rolling of both women.

"We have a.. past." Bo said without thinking, before realizing how that sounded and saw Lauren's face fall slightly. "No. I mean.. Um.. Not that kind.."

"Tamsin and Bo were.." Kenzi started to say, but Lauren cut her off.

"You and Bo were together?" Lauren asked meeting Tamsin's eyes. For some reason the thought brought unpleasant tightness in her chest. It was weird, because Tamsin was her friend and Bo was.. Bo was just a dream. A fantasy. Lauren knew nothing could ever happen between her and Bo. They lived on the opposite sides of the country. They didn't even know each other that well, but.. Still she was feeling.. jealous and anxious. Or something, she sighed inwardly.

"Uh.." Bo's gaze pleaded Tamsin not to screw her over. The brunette looked totally mortified and scared, that Tamsin would lie they had been an item and then Lauren would.. hate her. Please Lauren don't hate me, Bo thought desperately.

"No. Of course not. We worked together occasionally. In the past." Tamsin finally said and Bo breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's order. I'm hungry." Tamsin said curtly.

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* * *

The dinner had gone well to Kenzi's and Tamsin's surprise. They had both been expecting something to go wrong, but no. The topics had stayed safe and nobody had lost their cool. It had been quite pleasant and fun for everyone. Bo had stared doe-eyed at Lauren, who seemed unfazed by the attention.

Only blip during the evening was when Tamsin had noticed the subtle glares the succubus sent her way, whenever she touched Lauren in any way. So of course the valkyrie had increased the amount of her friendly touches on Lauren's arm and shoulder, until Kenzi had kicked her in the leg as a warning not to rile up Bo. And Tamsin agreed it would be stupid to push the brunette into a jealous frenzy and refrained from being overtly affectionate.

They had eaten and the women were saying goodbyes and parting ways. Lauren wanted to get to Toby and Tamsin had told everyone they had an early flight back home tomorrow. She noticed Bo's shoulders sag, when the brunette realized Lauren would be gone again. The valkyrie felt sorry for Bo, but was happy they'd be leaving Toronto and leaving all this behind.

"Lauren?" Bo touched Lauren's arm effectively stopping the blond from leaving just yet. "Um, could I talk to you a minute?"

"Sure." Lauren nodded looking a little surprised. "What is it?" She asked, when they had taken a few steps away from the others.

"So. Um.." Bo glansed at Kenzi, who was standing out of earshot. The smaller brunette looked at Bo warily and shook her head slightly. "Don't answer if you don't want to, but.. um.. is Tamsin Toby's other mother?" The succubus blurted nervously.

"No-no. Tamsin's Toby's godmother." Lauren smiled widely. "Tamsin and I are friends. I had Toby by myself, but Tamsin has been a great source of support for me. She's an awesome friend." Lauren said softly.

"That's.. That's good." Bo nodded glancing at the scowling Valkyrie, who was held back by Kenzi. "I.. I'd really like to see you again Lauren. Maybe like.. a date?" Bo asked, before she could stop herself.

"Oh." Lauren gave a small sad smile. "I'm sorry Bo.." She started and Bo's face fell. The succubus knew she was going to get rejected.

"I.. I just.." Bo sighed trying to think of something to say to convince Lauren to give her a chance.

"Bo you're so beautiful and sweet. And I really liked getting to know you a little." Lauren started.

"But?" Bo said in an oddly hopeful tone.

"But.. I live in Vancouver. I have a life there and no intention to move anywhere. And starting something.. a long distance thing, when we don't really even know each other.. I'm sorry, I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Okay.." Bo looked defeated. She was gonna lose Lauren again. And that hurt terribly.

"Bo.. I'm sorry. Maybe if the situation was different... " Lauren said. She felt unpleasant tugging in her chest at Bo's obvious hurt and disappointment.

"It's okay Lauren. I get it." Bo smiled sadly. She did get it. The situation sucked in more ways than Lauren even knew.

"I'm sorry, I really have to get to Toby now. I wish you all the best Bo. If you're ever in Vancouver.." Lauren trailed off.

"Yeah. Take care.. Bye." Bo smiled softly, but knew she sounded disappointed. She would have wanted to talk about meeting up with Lauren again. But the blond was going home tomorrow and there was nothing Bo could do about it. Nothing she would do. Lauren had a happy life on the other side of the country. Bo refused to mess that up and drag Lauren back to Toronto and back to the fae. Maybe there wasn't anything she could do to change the situation. The circumstances were against them.

"Bye Bo." Lauren said softly with a little wave of her hand and disappeared into the elevator with Tamsin in tow.

"Bye." Bo choked out with tears in her eyes after the elevator doors had closed.

"Bobo, let's go home." Kenzi rubbed the brunette's back softly with her palm. "Come on." She ushered gently.

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Thanks for reading :)

A/N Next chapter up probably in two weeks. Oh and heads up – I don't remember anything about Lauren's parents on the show! So I stole her parents from my 'The Art of Betting'.. Margaret made an appearance already in the previous chapter and Daniel maybe in later chapters.


	9. Been Talking

Yes.. I know I said this chapter would be up in two weeks, but I got this written early and decided to post already ;) It's shortish!

xoxo

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Kenzi and Bo were sitting in their favorite diner intent on going over potential cases. Kenzi settled into the booth and Bo sat opposite of her. The taller brunette dropped a stack of case files on the table with a groan. Kenzi also eyed the pile with disgust and trepidation. Neither of them wanted to throw away this lovely summer day reading some lame files. Kenzi wanted to postpone the humongous task and started girltalk. Bo had been a little gloomy and deflated and Kenzi understood why. She hoped Bo would soon get her spunk back.

"It's been almost a month you know. And you haven't yet whooshed to Vancouver. I'm proud of you Bo. Proud and.. surprised. You've let Lauren go on with her life. Good Bobo." Kenzi praised.

"Not that good. Really." Bo sighed and flicked her eyes out the window.

"What do you mean?" Kenzi asked leaning in placing her palms on the table. "Bo?"

"Kenzi.. Um.. I've been calling Lauren." Bo admitted meeting her friend's steady gaze. "Lauren and I.. We talk."

"Occasionally?" Kenzi lifted an eyebrow.

"Regularly." Bo admitted with an hesitant smile.

"Oh?"

"She called me to apologize in case I found her.. rejection blunt and hard.. And you know it was, but she was right to shoot me down then. Well.. Anyway we started talking about ordinary day to day stuff.. And I can't let her go Kenz. I don't want to mess up anything for her either. It's been great talking to her, but.." Bo shrugged. "I want _more._"

"Yeah.. You're in a pickle." Kenzi reached out and took Bo's hand in hers.

"The thing is.. She thinks of me as a _friend._" Bo swallowed looking at her friend under her lashes.

"That's nice isn't it?" Kenzi squeezed Bo's hand gently. "Getting to know her?"

"Yes.. But no.. Not when I had to listen to her recount her date with her ex last night." Bo pulled her hand from Kenzi's and covered her eyes with her palms sighing heavily. She let her hands drop on the table and waited for her friend to comment.

"Her ex?" Kenzi huffed surprised. "She has an ex?"

"Doctor Lopez.. Camila Lopez. _Cam._" Bo practically snarled, before taking a deep breath. "Apparently they broke up, because Lauren wanted to have a baby and.. Lopez wasn't ready. They had been together for six months only, but Lauren told her she wouldn't wait. That she had no time or desire to wait any longer to start a family. Life's too short."

"It really is. And Lauren knows that better than most.." Kenzi nodded slowly.

"Yeah.." Bo exhaled with a tinge of despair. "Um.. So Lauren got pregnant alone. And she's been doing great.. But now that _woman_ wants her back. She's been wooing Lauren for weeks. She wants them to be a family and I think.. I think Lauren's not totally against the idea."

"And let me guess you have the burning desire to fly to Vancouver and claim Lauren yours? And rip this hot latina's head off?" Kenzi couldn't help but smirk at Bo's possessiveness, when concerning the blond doctor.

"Right." Bo breathed anxiously. "Wait. How do you know she's hot?" She narrowed her eyes.

"I think it's a safe bet. Lauren attracts only hot women doesn't she?" Kenzi grinned a little and pointed her finger at Bo.

"Quit consoling me Kenz.." Bo gave a little laugh.

"Never." Kenzi grinned. "Oh man.. Do we really have to go through these?" Her eyes drifted to folders stacked on the table untouched.

"Yes." Bo nodded. "You think there are any cases that require a trip to Vancouver?" She gave a sly smile.

"No." Kenzi said. "Bo.. If you want to go see Lauren, just go. You two are friends now. I'm sure she'd like to see you, but please just stop torturing yourself. You should just make a decision on what you want from her and what you want for her and you."

"Yeah.. I know what I want Kenzi. I'm just not sure, if I can ever have what I want.. And if I have to settle for being her friend. _Only_ her friend.. I don't know if I can do that.. Oh gods, I'm a mess. I want to see her, but.. Maybe I should wait her to invite me or something?"

"Didn't she do that already? If you're ever in Vancouver and all that?" Kenzi reminded.

"She did.." Bo smiled hesitantly. "Let's find a case with ties to Vancouver." She joked dryly.

"I'm gonna need apple pie and ice cream to get through this pile..." Kenzi groaned and waved for the waitress.

.

* * *

"Hey Tamsin. Come in." Lauren opened the door for the taller blond. "Toby's napping." She said and thrust a paper in Tamsin's hands.

"You made me a list?" Tamsin eyed the paper scowling. "Item 7. Baby food in the fridge. Heat in microwave for 1,5 minutes. Test temperature before feeding? Oh my god Lauren. How many items are there.. 21. Seriously?" She read from the note and chuckled.

"Shut up. I guess.. I got a little carried away." Lauren admitted sheepishly. "But you've never been alone with him.. And.."

"It's for a few hours. We'll be fine. I won't kill him. I promise. And your mother's only minutes away and I've got her number on speed dial." Tamsin assured with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Okay.." Lauren sighed subconsciously glancing upstairs where Toby was sleeping in his room.

"Oh, how was your date last night? With Cam." Tamsin poked.

"It was great. Cam is great." Lauren smiled softly.

"But?"

"I don't know.. It just that I've been talking to Bo and I feel something for her. Remember when I kissed her? I mean what _the hell_ was that? But Bo lives thousands of miles away. So that's.. impossible. I've been trying to think of her as a friend only, but.. It's hard.. I'm so confused.." Lauren finished her ramble with a deep groan.

"Cam is sweet and geeky. She's really into you and more importantly she's.." A _human_ Tamsin almost blurted out, before shutting her mouth.

"She's what?"

"Um.." Tamsin cleared her throat. "Cam is here. Bo's in Toronto. How's that gonna work? And you said it yourself you barely know her. I know you've been talking to her, but still you don't really know her."

"Yeah. You're right. I know you are." Lauren breathed shaking her head a little as if to clear it. "I'm going now Tamsin. You'll take good care of my baby right?"

"How hard can it be to babysit a sleeping baby?" Tamsin scoffed slightly insulted.

"You'll call, if.."

"We'll be fine. Go." Tamsin cut in rolling her eyes and followed Lauren with her gaze as the spandex glad blond unlocked her mountain bike waiting on the yard. "Lauren?"

"Yeah?"

"For god's sake be careful. Okay?"

"Okay." Lauren promised hopping on her bike and rode away.

.

* * *

Lauren rode her bike along the trail that started right behind her house. It was a nice summery day and Lauren had told Tamsin she'd be gone for two hours tops. That was enough time to get a decent workout, but more importantly it was her own time. She relaxed enjoying the nature, while exterting her body. She loved to ride in the woods. It gave her strength for her everyday life. It was like recharging your internal battery, Lauren had understood ages ago.

The doctor's skin was covered with a sheen of perspiration and she decided to stop for a minute and hydrate. She dropped her feet to the ground from the peddles and grabbed her bottle. She also quickly checked her phone. Tamsin hadn't called so Lauren knew everything was okay. She noted the time and decided to head back to make it home under the two hour mark she had set. The blond put away her phone and bottle and climbed back on the saddle.

She was riding fast with a smile on her face. She slowed down just a tad and glanced to her left to marvel at the beautiful lake view. She noted a pair of swans bobbing on the gentle waves. She sped up again, but was suddenly forced to hit the breaks when a rabbit skidded across the path ahead startling her. Lauren just barely missed the furry creature as she swerved her bike to the left.

"Shit!" Lauren exhaled as she felt her body flung airborne and saw a tree trunk ahead. She braced herself for the hit. The bike clattered to the ground and Lauren hit the tree with a sickening thud. "Oomph!"

Lauren gazed at the clear sky above and the tree leafs rustling peacefully. She was lying on the ground next to the tree she hit. She took a deep breath, but grunted when the piercing pain shocked through her body.

"Ow fuck that hurts.." The blond hissed. "Nature strikes again.. Death by bunnies.." She joked meekly and let out a dark chuckle.

She tried to move gingerly, but after a few attempts decided to lay low for a while to get her bearings. No deep breaths, but breathe normally, she thought.

"Crap.." Lauren groaned in defeat, when she realized she probably shouldn't move around too much. "I need to call Tamsin. She'll jump for joy for sure.."

She reached for the phone strapped to her arm and breathed a sigh of relief when she got it unstrapped. As soon as she held the phone in front of her face, the blond groaned heavily.

"I don't believe this. Fucking unbelievable! It's in shatters!" Lauren snarled at the broken device.

She forced herself to gingerly sit up and then stilled listening to her body. She traced her ribs with her fingers.

"Might be broken.. At least two.. Shit." She said out loud. I've obviously bumped my head too. Good thing I was wearing a helmet, she sighed.

"I guess I should try to walk home after all.."

She got up slowly grimacing in pain. Breathe through it, she ordered. With great effort she picked up her bottle from its holder mounted on the bike.

"One foot after the other." She exhaled shakily as she started to make her way back home.

"Oh gods.. Can't do it. World's spinning. I'm gonna pass out." Lauren choked out wearily and delicately lowered herself back on the ground and laid down. She'd been walking for a few minutes only. I'll just wait here, she decided and closed her weary eyes.

.

* * *

Tamsin groaned as she saw her phone light up with Bo's name. "Shit. Just what I needed.." She muttered.

"Tamsin?" Bo's wary voice came through.

"Yeah.. Um I have a situation here and.. Wait." Tamsi paused and started to talk to someone else. "She's fine. I'll find her. I already called couple of guys. They'll come and help. Lauren's fine Margaret. I'm sure of it."

Bo could hear what Tamsin was saying. She also heard the commotion in the background and Toby crying. Cold dread was starting to fill her gut. She couldn't go through this again. Lauren had to be okay. What the hell was going on, she thought panicking.

"Bo?"

"What the hell is going on Tamsin? Where's Lauren? Is something wrong?" Bo fired off as soon as the valkyrie came back on line.

"She went out biking in the woods and should have been back two hours ago. And she's not answering her phone. It's not like her." Tamsin revealed sighing worriedly.

"Oh my god." Bo breathed feeling her heart clench painfully in her chest. "Where is she?!"

"Calm down. She's probably just had a flat or something and has to walk back." Tamsin tried to calm the succubus even though she herself was also worried sick about Lauren. "We'll find her. I'm going out now."

"She could have had an accident and is bleeding to death out there!" Bo yelled angrily. "You need to go now! You need to.. I need to.." Bo let out a sob she'd been holding.

"Bo, it'll be alright." Tamsin consoled automatically. "I'll call you. Just stay put." Tamsin said and hung up.

"Like hell I will." Bo growled anxiously as she wiped her tears away with her palm. "I'm coming to Vancouver."

.

* * *

Thanks for reading :)


	10. She's okay

Thanks for your continuing support and interest in this story :)

xoxo

* * *

"Where's Lauren? Lauren Lewis? Tell me! Now!" Bo leaned in barking to a nurse behind the desk. Kenzi was at her side trying her best to pull the raging succubus off the poor nurse's face. "Tell me!"

"Bobo.." Kenzi started seriously.

"Jesus Bo. Calm down." Tamsin cut in jogging down the hall toward the anguished fuming brunette. "Sorry Cheryl." The Valkyrie apologized to the wide eyed nurse for Bo.

"Where is she? Is she okay? I need to see.." Bo rattled anxiously and felt Tamsin grab her arm dragging her forcefully to the hallway.

"She's okay. A little banged up, but okay. I told you all this, when I left you a message." Tamsin said evenly and glanced at Kenzi.

"She just listened to it after we had landed.. And _all_ she apparently heard was that Hotpants is in the hospital." Kenzi sighed.

"I'll take you to see her, but you need to calm down Bo. Take a few breaths okay?" Tamsin said gently.

"Lauren.. She's okay?" Bo asked in a small voice.

"Yes." Tamsin promised. "This way." She cringed a bit remembering that those were the words she had said, when she led Bo to the morgue.

.

* * *

Bo hovered in front of Lauren's hospital room door with Tamsin and Kenzi watching over her.

"Are you ready?" Tamsin prodded. "Lauren's probably sleeping still, but you can go in to see her. She's okay Bo. Really."

"Okay.." Bo breathed. "She's okay." She repeated whispering.

"Go on in. We'll wait here." Kenzi said softly. "Come and get us later okay?" She added with a soft pat on the brunette's back. Bo nodded slowly.

Bo had been having horrible flashbacks from the morgue ever since she'd spoken to Tamsin and found out that Lauren was missing. All the feelings were bubbling to the surface. The excruciating pain and heartache Lauren's death had brought was once again thundering inside her. Her heart felt like it was being sliced apart. Bo closed her eyes for a moment. Lauren is fine. She's still here. Tamsin said so. Lauren is just behind this door, Bo swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. With a trembling hand she pushed the door open and stepped in leaving Kenzi and Tamsin waiting in the hallway.

"There you are." Bo sighed in relief, when her teary eyes found the blond slumbering on the bed.

Bo walked quietly next to the bed. Her eyes took in Lauren's peaceful expression and the steady movement of her chest as she breathed evenly. She hesitated only for a little moment before she gingerly took Lauren's hand in her own. Bo bent down and brushed her lips over Lauren's brow. She lingered there bending over the blond. She slowly pushed her face in Lauren's hair breathing in the calming vanilla scent of the blond's shampoo. Bo exhaled raggedly tears stinging in her eyes. Tears of relief and unraveling stress forced their way on her cheeks.

"Dammit babe.. You scared the shit out of me.." Bo whimpered tearfully nuzzling the blond's neck feeling the sleeping woman's strong pulse under her lips. "You're really okay.. Oh gods.."

A sob tore from Bo's lips making Lauren twitch, but she didn't wake up from her pain medication laced sleep. Bo lifted her face from the crook of Lauren's neck, took a shaky deep breath and biting her lip, before rushing out the room. Both Kenzi and Tamsin jumped, when Bo tore out of the room like a bat out of hell.

"Bo, what's wrong?" Kenzi call out after Bo, who was leaning against the wall a bit further away. Bo didn't answer. Sniffling quietly she just slid to floor and buried her head in her hands.

Tamsin peeked in Lauren's room. "Lauren's okay. Sleeping." Tamsin furrowed her brow in confusion meeting Kenzi's eyes.

"Bobo is overwhelmed I think.." Kenzi said. "It's been hard on her.. Emotional whirlwind and all that."

"Right. Of course." The Valkyrie acknowledged with a nod.

Kenzi started walking towards the slumped succubus, while Tamsin went in Lauren's room to give the friends some privacy. Kenzi didn't say a word, she just quietly sat on Bo's lap and gathered her in her arms. Bo began to sob harder pressing her face in Kenzi's shoulder and grabbing tightly around her middle. The smaller brunette also tightened her hold and let Bo cry. They stayed like that a long while.

"Clean yourself up and let's go back in okay?" Kenzi asked hesitantly, when Bo's crying subsided and she only sniffled softly.

"Yeah." Bo swallowed. "I just.. needed to get that out.. All the feelings hit me and.. I don't want to freak Lauren out."

"I know." Kenzi nodded pecking Bo on her forehead still embracing her in comfort. "You good?"

"Yeah. Thanks Kenz."

"Always."

.

* * *

Kenzi had escorted Bo to the bathroom insisting that girls always went in twos. In reality she just wanted to stay with Bo in case she had another meltdown. Bo cleaned up and managed to get herself looking like she just hadn't been bawling her eyes out.

"Ready?" Kenzi asked, when Bo stilled her movements in front of the mirror.

"Yeah." Bo nodded looking at Kenzi through the mirror. She even managed a small smile.

They headed back to Lauren's room. Bo could hearing talking from inside. Lauren was talking to Tamsin. She was awake, Bo smiled and met Kenzi's eyes. Kenzi motioned to the closed door. Bo took a breath and pushed it open and stepped in. Lauren's eyes latched on Bo's as soon as the brunette came through the door.

"Bo? You're here?" A wide smile spread on Lauren's face. "How?"

"I flew." Bo gave Lauren a big smile of her own.

"Smartypants." Lauren chided playfully.

"Tamsin called that you've gone missing and.. I jumped on a plane with Kenzi." Bo motioned to Kenzi, who was standing by the door but ventured closer now.

"Oh hey Kenzi." Lauren smiled.

"Hey hotpants. Good to see you're in one piece."

"Hotpants?" Lauren narrowed her eyes at Kenzi, who just shrugged.

"Kenzi likes to make up nicknames.. Yours suites you." Bo said softly and took Lauren's hand in hers lacing their fingers together without even thinking.

"My ass_ is_ kinda hot." Lauren said in mock smugness making Kenzi snort.

"It is." Bo whispered and pecked Lauren on the lips. "Sorry." She quickly apologized, when she noted Lauren's wide eyes. Stop with the pda, she chided inwardly. You're not.. together.

"It's fine Bo." Lauren smiled and squeezed Bo's hand. "I liked it."

"Oh." Bo's heart fluttered at Lauren's comment.

Tamsin who was keenly watching the two women sighed. She knew that Cam didn't have a chance against Bo, if Bo decided to go after Lauren. There was still obviously a strong bond between Lauren and Bo. Weird. This could get messy, the Valkyrie thought apprehensively. She was glad that the succubus was on board on protecting Lauren and letting her lead a normal human life. Tamsin only hoped it would stay that way.

"I.. I wanted to see that you're okay.. I was so worried and.. I'm sorry, if that's weird or.. Something" Bo rambled nervously.

"Well.. Maybe it is a bit, but I am glad you're here." Lauren smirked.

"I'm glad too." Bo smiled. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine. They're keeping me here for observation for the night.. Which is totally _unnecessary_ since I've been here the whole day already." Lauren shot a look at Tamsin.

"What? I'm not your doctor." Tamsin rolled her eyes at Lauren's accusing gaze.

"No. But you did talk to my doctor." Lauren said pointedly. "And I know you. You told him to keep me here 'to be safe' didn't you?"

"Maybe it's for the best." Bo inserted. She didn't want Lauren to take any risks on her health.

"You too?" Lauren grimaced, but then smirked a little. "Guess I'm sleeping here tonight. Mom's got Toby right?"

"Maggie's got him covered." Tamsin smiled.

"Good.. So I'm sleeping here tonight. Crap." Lauren sighed heavily and plopped her head back on the pillow. "How's my bike? Once I'm better I wanna go.."

"You're not riding that thing again. No way." Bo said resolutely not even sparing a thought if it was her place to say so or not.

"Excuse me?" Lauren chuckled with a lifted eyebrow. "Of course I am. I just need to get it fixed. It didn't break too bad right?"

"No, but I agree with Bo.." Tamsin started.

"What?" Lauren scoffed irritated.

"I don't want you biking any more. It's obviously too dangerous." Tamsin sighed.

"Oh, shut up!" Lauren huffed. "Both of you." She snapped, when she noticed Bo start to say something.

"I'm not giving up biking. I love it. Accidents happen. I won't live my life in fear." Lauren said. "I'm fixing my bike." She finished.

"But.." Bo began, but got a blazing stare from Lauren and then got cut off, when a caramel skinned latina burst into the room.

"Lauren? Oh thank god you're okay." The woman launched herself at Lauren and hugged her gently.

"Cam. I'm fine. Just a little.. banged up." Lauren smiled sweetly.

"I came as soon as I could, I was in Seattle on a consult." Cam pecked Lauren on the lips with a relieved sigh. "You're okay? You promise?" She trailed her fingertips softly on Lauren's face.

"I am. I promise. Cam, these are my friends Bo and Kenzi." Lauren introduced gesturing to Kenzi and Bo standing next to Tamsin.

"Ouch." Kenzi exhaled for Bo, before putting on neutral face. "Hey, nice to meet you Cam." She greeted, while Bo just gave a little wave.

.

* * *

Kenzi had practically had to drag Bo out of the hospital, when the visiting hours were over. They were settled in their hotel room. Bo was sulking and fretting. She was unhappy, that she had to leave Lauren in the hospital. She'd be out tomorrow they said, but still Bo didn't like the idea Lauren being alone in there. And Kenzi didn't want to point out that Cam would probably stay there being the hospital's staff and everything. The goth reckoned that wouldn't fly well with Bo.

"So.. How are you holding up Bobo?"

"I'm.. not good." Bo said. "She almost died! Again!"

"She did not. She's not dying. Didn't even come close. Sure she scared you, but this.." Kenzi said with a little flourish of her hand. "This was just a mishap. She fell over with her bike. Sporting accident and she'll be fine. In a few weeks the fractured ribs will heal and all is well."

"And then there's the heart surgeon.. Cam." Bo grimaced at the name. "I really want to be with Lauren, but I.. I don't know if that's even remotely possible without destroying everything. What are my options? What can I do? I know what I want to do.. I want to.. go after her so bad. I want to make her _mine_ Kenzi.."

"Take it slow Bo. You're just getting to know her. Just be her friend at first. Evony approved that right?"

"She did.." Bo sighed. "I talked to her after Lauren traveled back to Vancouver. She said 'fine' and then warned me not to mess things up or she'll have my hide."

"Have your hide?" Kenzi snorted in disbelief.

"She did use a little more colorful expression, but the message was clear. She'll kill me. And she will enjoy it."

"Sounds like the Morrigan yes."

"I think Lauren had talked to her about.. me and our budding friendship." Bo said and wondered why the word friends tasted so sour on her lips. "That's why she agreed I guess."

"Evony has a soft spot for the doctor." Kenzi noted.

"They are friends. And now Lauren and I are friends. _Friends._." Bo finished with a groan.

"Friends is good. Start with that. You'll woo her later."

"I want so much more. Now." Bo breathed sadly. "But am I enough for her? Am I any good for her? Does she need me.. Will she ever need me?" she uttered quietly.

"You'll figure it out Bobo. Give it time."

.

* * *

Thanks for reading :)

A/N Struggled a bit, but finally pushed this out.. hopefully it's not too sucky :D Next one in a week or two.


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